Just Goodnight and Some Thoughts before I sleep.. ;)

it feels really bad when you’re feeling so mad at someone but you couldn’t yell at that person, you couldn’t do a thing instead you just let those feelings rot inside you. And why you can’t? It’s because of two reasons.

 First, you have no right to hate that person, even if he was so unkind and insensitive to you, even if he was intentionally hurting you (or not) – because he never promised you anything. Indeed, action speaks louder than words, but still words will win through, though lies are also born in the course of words.

Second, you wouldn’t tell your feelings to those concern, those who caused you pain because you don’t wanna make them feel overwhelmed and be delighted when they’ll know there presence lacerates you…. (Unless, if that someone cares about you even a bit, but I doubt that… haha)

Cut! This is supposed to be a-not-so-serious post, but I spoiled it, I was so dramatic above there… haha, that’s why I stopped myself, I know.. I know! Its not good to hate someone, and posting stuff like this is not a good idea as well, the public will mock me for sure, though I hid it to some, but customizing settings is a sort of laborious matter, so still, this I set to public because I wanted someone would read this--- there I gamble my humility.. haha.. (Nobody would read this anyway, I bet).

I said too that I would stop doing this nonsense for like a hundred times already, but still, these thoughts are like mushrooms that keep on coming no matter what..  I couldn’t stop them, so I write them down… and it works! (yeah, at least) doing this is like throwing  stones into the sea, throwing away my heartaches! (ew! Haha).

Time to shift thoughts , how bout good things now?? (gah….. I couldn’t think of any)… I want to say, My life is a mess! But I must not (though I said it already.. haha)…

Anyway, behind that bitterness, I am grateful of so many things in my life… I’m loving myself to this I’m about to say…( probably, if in case someone, somehow is reading this, for sure he/she would stop already, I’m making it too lengthy now.. hehe..)…

I’m thankful for having the best parents in the world. I just loved them so much…

I’m thankful that I have a job, for my profession and for earning my own money.

I must be thankful that I wasn’t born a beggar.

I’m thankful I’m not impaired nor crippled.

I’m thankful for my freedom.. for the choices I could make (though its only making me more confuse haha)

I’m thankful for those few people who understand me….those true good friends.

I'm thankful that no matter how my heart was broken for countless times, its still working..

I’m thankful for the things I knew… for the knowledge I’ve learned.

I’m thankful to my multiply site… for listening without complaining.

I’m thankful that I am skinny-- should I be thankful to that after wishing I could gain weight??.. yes I should, after realizing that some girls dreamed to be one, and I could EAT ALL I CAN!

I’m thankful that I’m not ugly.. (am I not or I’m just fooling my self?.. haha), my siblings told me I am ugly, I told them they are ugly too! (Though I don’t really mean it, I’m sure my brothers and my sister are not ugly, but me??? I don’t know.. haha)… anyway, I love them though they are such a headache-causing-people!

I’m thankful that you are reading this…. (not everyone would waste their time on this, maybe just you..hehe)

And most of all I THANK GOD…..and I’m sorry for being morbid sometimes.

that's all! Time for a Goodnight now.......