Losing loved ones is one of the sorrowful and inevitable event that could happen to our lives and today is one of my worst one. I just lost an uncle, who serves as the head of the family at my mom's side. He's such a great man in all aspects, he surely a loss to our clan, and it was really a bad news to everyone who had hopes for him.
...So it was this hard to witness his last moments at his death bed in the hospital.... I felt like I would faint seeing my mom, my aunts, my other uncle and my brothers break down... It's still haunting me at this very moment. The saddest truth that we'll never see him again, that he wont be able to pursue his unfinished business, that he wont visit us anymore at home or meets us somewhere to have family gatherings, the sad faces of my little cousins and his wife..... these stuffs are killing the joy in my heart. Moving on is kinda hard to do because the people and the reasons why you're doing certain things are gone...
It was an unexpected death, all of us aren't prepared for this... I just saw him laugh the other week, cracked jokes and showered us words of wisdom.... We all thought he's tough and healthy, that a high blood pressure won't beat him... but we we're wrong. This must be life... And he will be a legend.
I'm not saying all of these to make myself acquire a little bit more of pain, I'm thinking of this as first step to get away from grieving. I'm exhaling the thoughts that breaks my heart now.... so after I'll get to pour all the pains then my heart would be lighten up.. till I reach the road to acceptance.
With this event, I want myself to be strong enough to accept the truth about death, that as I grow older, I'll get to experience more of this, until my time will come as well. This is not being morbid... We couldn't run away from death, so instead we must be prepared for it. Preparing means we should strengthen our spiritual life, we should be strong and be a good person. Remember, no one gets out of life alive. Lets not be so materialistic. Don't be greedy as if we're going to live forever... Everything in this world is temporary.. But we must not stop doing good deeds as it could be a way to paradise.. And ofcourse Prayers.
Inna Lillahi Wa inna ilayhi rajioon. Yah Allah, please grant my uncle a place in Jannah. Make the people he left behind recovers the soonest time so we can move on with our lives.. Make us patiently strong and remember You more, remind us of our purpose in this world, that eventually we will all surrender in your arms... some will go first and the rest has yet to perform their purposes... Yah Allah, Help us.
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