Blunder

Here I am again feeling useless again... but am I really not?  I’m sorry to say this but I’m nonsense.. just let me say these words to lessen the burden upon my heart..  Do you know how does it feel when you know exactly that you are doing the wrong thing? But you cant do nothing about it because you’re so damn weak and idle.. you tend to blame others for you mistakes... You find reasons just to cover the wrong you did....or even act helpless so they would pity you... I hate that kind of person, so that would mean I hate myself.........Everybody hates me now... I cant blame them, I even hate my self......... guilt would  kill me..... I dont even do ways to correct it because I have no courage... I curse my self for hurting the people I love.... I am nothing, I contribute none but pains and frustration to others... I just turned twenty five, accomplished achievements that no one would be proud of..... so, it wasn’t achievement at all... but failure... what a loser! Hahaha... O, well... I almost forgot, I’m a civil engineer........... yes, a jobless civil engineer!! Very pathetic.. haha... at least janitors are working........ o, sorry, conscience is  throbbing here, be at least  thankful... well, I am....  I’m so sorry being this way... I dont even like it, see, I despise my very own self??? I know... I know..... love my self first so I can do better things... so my mind will be lighten.... but how?? ........ My existence is a mess to some.... But ofcourse, suicide is another very big sin...... the other life is my only chance.. But, with this kind of atittude, do I have the chance......? Even writing this down is already a sin..

What shall I do now, when I dont even have the guts to do what I ought to do...? How can I conquer this frailty.... what if I’m naturally the bad one? The villain........ What if, my purpose here is to cause torns to some? Ahhhhh.... What ifs!!!! ....free me........ I’m sorry....

my birthday

is this my worst bday? i guess not... but one of the list of the worst.. hehe... its a routine... this afternoon, im going to a place that I have this uncertain feeling of going......... but I should go....i dont want to go, but even a thought of not going makes me feel guilty... what am I supposed to do now?... i am really bothered now... i thought i must do the thinga that would make me happy..... but this one??? it wont make feel good if i wont.... do you got my point?

grrrr........

fussed

whats wrong with me?? it can be the right one.... and it should be the right one.. but why I have doubts here.... not on that thing that I had doubts to, ang gulo... para kcng my gusto akong iba... what now?

to be near you

i like this song... i wish I could dedicate this to someone... hehehehe... but no one

 

Are you just a habit
Or some kind of addiction
Can't seem to get you out of my system
What good you have done to me
Feels so stuck like glue
Turn the pages in my head. there's only you

I don't care
I would do anything to be near you
I would go anywhere to be near you

Am I truly hopeless
Am I be pathetic
Are you aware of my existence
Would you mean everything to me
If you spend a little time
Could you given to me with an ease resistance

Ahhh...

I would do anything
I would go anywhere to be near you
I would do anything, go anywhere
I don't care
I would do anything, anything, go anywhere
I don't care to be near you
Just to be near you

the rules of my site

Hi.. welcome here..  anyway, i create this page not to gain more friends.... my facebook, friendster and GMN account are my accounts intended for such... but if you’ll add me up here, that’s highly appreciated.. you are very much welcome to leave your comments here. This page is supposed to be privatized... maybe someday... I still want to express and share my whatevers here.. Some entries are open to anyone, some are intended only for my self since they are so much confidential, some are for those people who know me well, my friends... some should be privatized too, coz it might degrade my personality, hahaha... but I rather not, I want the world to know... sometimes, it really feels good to share your thoughts and opinions to others... although, there are moments I mocked myself when I review them and realized how crazy I am to came up with those ideas that I want to scratch them up... really moody... anyway, I’ll write anything here, whatever I want, anything goes,... it’s really a habit.. this website can be the reflection of my soul.... so.......thanks for dropping by... add me up? Tnx! ;)

what do people think of you

What do people think of you?

Take this quiz

Brave

You are outgoing, which means you probably have a lot of different friends, and people love that you have the guts to do and say.
If people call you weirdo for being you, that's ok, because who cares what they think!

 

brave??? me?? its  the result of the quiz i participated in facebook... i maybe outgoing and weirdo but I guess... i am not that brave... maybe a lil.. haha

to give up or not to give up

When to know you must give up?? They said, you must hold on to things you are so eager to have...  what if it wasn’t meant for you?..... then your time wasted... what about the virtue of  patience?..... it’s all about waiting..... endurance ...... what for?? How will you know youre in the right track?......... if you give up, you might regret... what if you gave up on the 30th  day...... and what you waited for came on the following day???....you’ll tell me, it wasn’t meant to be.....

Well, since no one will answer me here... i’ll answer the question whose also raised by me....well, that’s what life all about is... no one can ever forsee  the future... even fortune tellers tell us that we are still the one whose responsible for the fate in our palms! So, what are we suppose to do now?? Maybe, do what we think that could make us happy.... and hell, with the consequences! Haha.. if you are tired of whatever, then do something else... life is too short, you might be waiting for the rest of your life!!!... but if you’re happy of waiting, then be it!!! ........you always hear the thought of “it wasn’t  meant for you”,  but this one really effective.... coz we have no choice to.... just believe it instead of growling and grumbling around... the world wont give a damn listening to your complains... whether your hurt or not, it will continue rotating and revolving... haha.. about the regret matter, no doubt, this really what hinders us to take risk... but are we not regretting when everything is too late in not doing any action...? we need to give a try... we need to take actions.. we will not be able to know if we’re trudging the right path if we wont keep on moving... whether the things we stew and fret about will happen or never... at least we do what we ought to do ... afterall life is about failing and winning...  and one thing, if you ever trudge the wrong way, surely there’s a path there to take you to the right way... Faith will light our way....

Anyway, comments there? Sometimes it’s good to hear encouraging words from others than to your very own self...