Realizations of an Average Person During the Quarantine

The Covid 19 Pandemic surely caused changes on the regular routine of everyone in the world. It’s been almost three months since the quarantine occurred in our city, and by now, most of us surely have their individual realizations and lessons learned. I know we have different quarantine stories. My story might not be as intense as other people’s story, but I’m speaking in behalf of those average people who seem to think that their life is not worth a book.

 

Where did I spend my Quarantine Days?

When the lockdown was imposed last 26^th of March, I was staying in my Boarding house almost 1 kilometer from my working place. I was staying there all by myself, I was not able to travel to my family home due to city restrictions.

 

What Kept me Sane During the Quarantine?

The perks of being an introvert made things easy for me.  I find solitude and peace in being alone. So on the first days of the quarantine, I never felt any sign of anxiety.  After consuming lots of movies and TV series on the first week, and unfortunately that increasing number of Covid positive signifying the lockdown will be extended for a long time, I thought I needed to do something productive.  So how can I be productive inside that small room w/o even a beautiful sight of the world? My room has a small window but is facing another wall. So I needed to went out daily on our common clothesline area just get some sunshine and fresh air. I can’t even bring my dirty clothes to Laundry shop, so I washed almost daily so it won’t pile up. That was also an alibi for me to stay in the clothesline.

 

I finished that inspirational Chicken Soup book and started reading a self improvement book that was lying on my shelf for too long. I wrote blogs again.

Until the Ramadan came by last 24^th of April. I’m supposed to spend the Ramadhan in my hometown with my family but unfortunately, I still can’t go home. But it turns out that I had the best Ramadan ever in terms of performing it correctly. I downloaded the Holy Qur-an  and read it. I even almost completed prayers. For the first time in my life, I performed the late night prayers or Tahajud.  I watched daily sermon of Mufti Menk about Comfort for Crisis.  Alhamdulillah, If not due to lockdown, I will not be able to do that.

 

What are my top three Realizations during this pandemic?

We had a zoom meeting with my officemates and these were also the things I’ve told them.

First, Faith to the Almighty. When you are alone and left without choice where anxiety will try to eat you up, Faith will save you. The quarantine brought me closer to the almighty and I really felt His Presence.

Second, Gratitude. Appreciation of small things. Focus on what you have and be thankful about it. Knowing that my family and I were healthy, and we still have resources for our food  is something I need to thank about, Alhamdulillah.

Third. Savings. I thank myself for being so thrifty when it comes to money.  Aside from travelling, I don’t spend  lot on material things. New gadgets and branded clothes are not my thing. So now that we can’t have our normal salary, I still have money to purchase my necessities. Alhmadulillah

How to Uplift Yourself when Someone Wont Let You

It's not easy to lose your job in this time of crisis . I'm possibly about to lose mine without compensation... 

Last March,   I verbally informed my Functional Head that I'll be resigning because our project is struggling for budget that we need to cost cut and transfer someone to our Manila project (from Davao). This someone lives in Davao, she disliked going to Manila but she had no choice. So I decided to quit my position so she can stay, I know how it feels coz I don't want to go back to Manila either (been assigned there for 6 years,  I resigned but rehired in this Davao project) . At the same time I was also applying a job in my hometown, I'm just taking my chances as I'd really love to work close to my family. 

  

But the Pandemic  seems to freeze things. I was not able to formally file my resignation due to lockdown and the job opportunities at my home place were put on hold too. 

It's almost three months but we haven't got back to work yet though we have some work from work arrangements.  Our salaries are limited but the Company offered Cash advances too. 

Few days ago,  my Functional Head phoned me if I'm still pursuing my resignation and I said yes but no specific date yet due to the current situation. I don't feel any sincerity in the puspose of  her calling.   She also phoned my Project In Charge jokingly that I was taking advantage of the company's privilege. That sounded offending to me and it bothered me,  I'm not that kind of person who will take advantage of anyone.  I was grateful of the company's help.  I'm gonna pay that Cash Advance too or work for it. 

I was not able to file the resignation on my original intended last day April 23 due to lockdown..  We have no formal work,  so I can't formally turn over my task which for me is very important.   And I can't go home too due to lockdown so I still need to pay rent for my boarding house (my limited salary for the work I do is sufficient for my rent,  oh sorry if that's taking advange) .. I have no doubt that I've been a good employee, I deserved what I am being paid of,  so it hurts me that this FH is making me feel now. 

Little did I know why she is confirming my resignation, our company is implementing retrenchment. The difference between retrenchment and resignation is that you'll be paid on the former,  and none for the later..  So in this hard time,  retrenchment is the practical  option.

Surely I will be retrenched too (as I've not formally filed my resignation) ,  because last night our President and the other officer incharge are supposed to call me this morning.  But guess who called me?  The FH!  She was once again pointing out that I told her I'm resigning. Wow,  she really is working so hard so I wont get a separation pay. Obviously she is more concerned about the company and not to the person who's about to lose a job. (as if she is the one who's going to pay me haha)..  

I literally had a headache today, got prepared , excited and tensed on that scheduled conversation with the President and the Officer in Charge about the retrenchment, I know its not ideal to lose a job but at least I'll be compensated while waiting for a new job.. I thought prolonging my resignation resulted to something better.  But to my dismay,  the amazing FH came into the picture.  I don't know whats her purpose of doing this,  I want to give her benefit of the doubt. So I told her now that I am unsure of my resignation.. Remember that girl whos about to be transferred to Manila?  She was also retrenched,  so I told the FH that I' am now undecided with my resignation because I have no one to turn over my task to.  I sensed that she didn't like my answer,  as if I lied to her,  that I'm only after the separation pay.  Don't worry FH,  though I told you I'm undecided,  I'm still going to quit this job even w/o separation pay coz I can't stand working with that kind of person. 

Had a terrible day.  

Now,  I'm on the part of lifting myself. So how will I make myself feel better before I sleep tonight?  I still have this headache caused by todays uncertainty, but writing this lighten up my mood...

I'm telling myself that there will always be that kind of people like my FH, and winning against her is tough,  let the Almighty takes care of her.  

What's meant for me even if its between mountains will be mine,  and what's not for me won't be mine even if its already at the tip of my nose,  my Mom reminded me that when I called her a while ago. 

I may not get a separation pay in this trying time (even if I deserve it) ,  I know something better will come,  trust the Almighty.. There must be a reason behind this. (I'll update this blog someday when I'll find that out, InshaAllah ) .

Lastly,  I must be grateful,  Alhamdulillah..  Even without that separation pay,  I still have enough money to get myself food to eat, my family have their own too,  and we are healthy. Alhamdulillah.