Because it’s the end of the 2020, I require myself to write something, to reflect and have some sort of recapitulation , quick write on the thoughts I wanted to blog (pero diko nagawa, kase tinamad ako J or got busy babysitting), or wherever this post may take me.
This year surely has been tough for everyone brought by the Pandemic. I have my own stories of being locked up in my boarding house for two months without anyone else. But I can say, it wasn’t totally a waste of time. I became closer to the Almighty, I had spent the Ramadan alone during those days but I can conclude it’s one of the best fasting I performed. I even memorize that very powerful verse on the Holy Quran.
Most people lost their jobs during the Pandemic, I lost mine too by resigning. Yes, it could be wrong timing but it was a decision I had to do. The process didn’t go well, I encountered one of the terrible people who made bad impression on me, it stressed me out but I battled it with a lot of patience.
Due to Pandemic , I was infected too, not of the disease but I became a Plantita. I ordered a lot of plants, including seeds, but unfortunately plants didn’t love me back. Haha. Because of that, I refrained planting, but I’m still taking care of those who survived my trying hard green thumb. It's the trend and maybe not really my thing but for some moments, it made me relaxed.
It’s been almost five months since I became jobless, and the application procedure on the Government offices is really slow. I’m almost losing hope. I had interviews too but it didn’t go well, it actually made me feel that I was really wrong in choosing my profession. The interviews almost consumed my self esteem because I couldn't remember some technical matters. Or maybe because I have different work experiences that my application was sort of a career switch. I believed in my self though I'm not convincing, but that's not who they are looking for. There's so much discouragement especially that everyone says that your chances to get hired is advance if you have this "backer thing", no matter how good you are or how lousy you are wont matter.
All I can do now is wait, more patience and trust Almighty's plan for me. At the moment, I must enjoy the present, watch over my nieces and get more closer to my family. It's something I missed through the years.
Though Netflix is a bad habit, I admit it saved me from boredom too, watched too many movies and series but the following really glued in my mind.
An Indonesian Movie, “Love Sparks in Korea”, there’s nothing really about the movie but I could relate because the main cast is a traveler and a writer. I want to be like her. Even before I watched the movie, I've always imagined roaming around the world, get enchanted on the wonders of the world, write about anything there, about the ordinary people I'll meet along the way, yes just the ordinary people. I want to create a book about the lifestyle and beliefs of random people in different places, how would they define their version of happiness and fulfillment. I'm also an ordinary average person, and I believe that not only those on top of entertainment , power and wealth deserve to be written. But as I've said, I've always imagine that, I don't know if it will ever happen.
Because I landed on that movie, another Indonesian film was suggested, so I watched it. I forgot the title but it's about Polygamy. At first I don't want to watch it as I'm not promoting Polygamy, though it is accepted in Islam. But the movie was beautifully created that I didn't regret watching it I've even watched the part two. This movie would help some people understand why Polygamy is allowed in Islam.
Attack on Titan Series. The relationship of Eren, Mikasa and Armin really moved me. They made a perfect team. Though I can see myself thru Eren because he got that motivation and will power but he's a little clumsy and incompetent sometimes haha. Also with Armin, he's amazing but he had an inferiority complex, he thinks that he's really not important, that he's nothing but a burden. Little did he know that he's worth the keep. As for Mikasa, she is undeniably the most skillful in terms of fighting among the three but she's very much concern in protecting Eren. Ewan, I just can relate on some part of their personality, except that fighting skills haha.
Enough on movies.
To wrap this up, there's not much of "happy moments" in 2020, I risked losing my job believing I could find a new one close to home, I had bad interviews I almost lost my confidence, I got no travels, my other plants died, I cant think of a new career for me (that I'll be good at) and other unfortunate events cause by this Pandemic. But despite all these, I'm still very grateful, Alhamdulillah, I had time knowing more about the Almighty, had so many good times with my family and they are healthy Alhamdulillah, we had sufficient food in our table and able to purchase our necessary needs. I've learned to be more patient. 2020 may not be the best year for me but it taught me a lot of things. Alhamdulillah
