29April15

Had one of the worst days of my life.. I hate this day so much.. the only good thing happened was seeing my father... the rest of it sucks... everything will be all right...

Even if its not a good night... I would still say my good night.

28april15

TOday: i got that and a whirlwind of work.

good night!

27April15

5:45pm
This Monday morning sickness is breaking my heart so bad. I hope its going to be a great day. So Help me God.

11:38pm
Thank God for this day, it wasn't really great but I was fine, survived it.  Been really busy..., piled tasks  could almost break my head thinking which should commence first... but I tried to handle it well. Also, attended our basketball tournament opening where I didn't wanna go... But I ended up being there... I love to watch my friends and officemates play the game, just too tired and not in the mood to watch... so even before the game started, I went home.

Anyway, I hope tomorrow will be okay. Will be having a medical check up... I hope I've got no complication.. coz, honestly, I feel like something in my system is not well... or  I hope I'm just paranoid..  i hate  clinics, I hate needles,  much more the hospital... but this shall be done.

Good night.

Tired Much pero Gising Pa!

1:08am...

Why am I still awake?? I'm supposed to be in my deep sleep by now.. after being so tired the whole day.. Kase we went back to basement 4 after the fire incident last Saturday ... Got no picture but the whole basement 4 looked like a haunted place, parang abandoned sya ng mga 15 years hehe.. the trace of the fire, yung amoy ng usok is still there... though the lights are back..parang ang dilim pa rin dahil ang iitim na walls and ceilings.. at kahit partially nalinis na yung area ko, ang dumi pa rin... yung mga documents.. pati laman ng drawers ko ang iitim na... at nakakalungkot.. nakakawalang gana pero wala.akong  choice... so ayun, linis linis.. tapos magmumukha kang taong grasa right after..

okay, ash, tapos na ba reklamo mo?? Matulog kana.. tama na yan! Ayos lang yan!!

Sige, eto ako, signing off. Hehe.. Goodnight!

Today's Talking to Myself

Madalas ko naman gawin to e, ang maging parang baliw lang , este ang kausapin ang sarili ko.. minsan effective din naman to, nakakabawas ng problema.. gaya ng mga bagay na iniisip ko today... gaya ng mga sumusunod:

Ako: Naiinis ako kase bakit kelangang mangyari yung sunog sa basement 4.. ayan tuloy para kaming kawawa, evacuees sa basement1. araw araw ko pa tuloy bitbit yung mga petty cash.

sagot: Wag ka ng mainis, damaged has been done.. yung mga matatanda  nga na nasa staffhouse, kelangan na tuloy nila mag uwian everyday.. mas matindi problema nila sayo. Wag ka ng mag-inarte kong kelangan nyo nanamang maglinis ng mas masahol pa nung pinapaliitan yung office nyo.. wag kang tamad, wag kang maarte... minsan magmukha ka namang uling. Haha.. para maranaasan mo naman ang  trabaho ng mga nasa ulingan.. haha.. Ganon talaga ang buhay, may mga pangyayaring di inaasahan.

ako: naiinis ako kase habang busy ako sa kagagawa ng cost report kanina dun sa hindi comfortable na area na yun, yung iba walang magawa... yung iba sadyang walang ginagawa.

sagot: hayaan mo sila..hindi kase nila kayang gawin yung cost report, kaya ikaw na. Haha.. at mas nakakabagot kaya ang walang ginagawa.. can't you feel your self importance???

Ako: naiinis ako kase feeling ko nagkulang akong supervisor dun sa QS ko kaya hindi sya productive.

Sagot: Ayan ka nanaman.. wag mo sya problemahin.. sya ang may problema sa  sarili nya. Wala talagang syang sense of whatever you call it.. hehe..ayos lang.. pinapalitan mo naman sya diba? You both deserve that decision.. hayaan mo na sya. Bahala sya sa buhay nya.. chill ka lang!

Ako:  Naiinis ako kase di matapos tapos yung project namin at kelan ba talaga ako magreresign..

sagot: hahahha... oo.. pag dimo alam. Tawanan mo lamg.

ako: Naiinis ako.. kase ang haggard haggard ko.. ang dami ko na ulit pimples.

sagot:

Oo, yan ang sagot. Magselfie ka.. harapin ang katotohanan. Ahaha

good night na. Itigil na ang kabaduyang ito.

Primea on Fire????

I thought it wasn't this serious.. somebody told me about the fire yesterday,  and I thought its something I shouldn't be worrying about. Kaso pagdating ko sa office this morning... yung mga workers pinauwi... we couldn't go down to our office... and I felt irresponsible too.. pagdating ko dun, parang gusto ko na lang  din umuwi.. nakakatamad... then when our project manager called me for "this and that"... narealize  ko na I lost my malasakit - one of our company's core values. For a brief moment, I felt like I lost my sense of initiative.. i was full of thoughts, naiisip ko kase yung mga gamit ko... matinding linisan nanaman to, I'm not even sure if I can fix and clean the documents on my table and recover my e files, .... nastress ako bigla! Haha...  pero, diko na iisipin yun. Ayos lang yun.. gaya ng lagi kong nireremind sa sarili ko.. "life is too short to take things too seriously.... too short spending my time trying to be perfect"... diba? Dapat echos echos lang! Nangyari na ang nagyari, move on na! Haha... this is just my way of comforting myself. Good night!

Oo, Orange!

Haha.. wala na akong maisip na pamagat para dito.masaya lang ako ngayong araw.. diko alam bakit... or baka alam ko naman..  basta ang importante.. masaya ako! Minsan lang to...haha... dahil jan, kelangan may ebidensya.. kelangan orange...

yun lang. Sorry ha. Hehe.. good night!