29July15

I was trying to sleep after Suhoor, but I couldn't sleep back. I opened my eyes and I'm almost consumed with some negative thoughts, it's too sad.. was confused again for being at the wrong place, my fears of the unknown risen, I've thought of the people I've loved, I haven't done enough for them, I haven't even made them feel or at least tell them I loved them, they're too few of them but, I can't even manage to do so, and life is too short.

So this, I'm battling with my Monday Morning Sickness.. So, before my alarms ring, I rose from bed and performed my Salah.. and had this prayer.

Dear God, take away the fear in my heart, make me strong, clear my mind from whatever causing my anxiety, I'm sorry if the way I worship You is maybe not the appropriate way, I hope you'll forgive me, I'm in a place where my spiritual life is hard to nourish, but I hope You can still hear me... I don't know too many things, I don't even know what to do with my life, sometimes I think I am wasting it.. I hope You'll forgive me and You'll light up my way. Take care of the people I love for I can't even do it the right way. For the things I that I can't give up but I should, please help me let go of them... For the things I should stand and fight for, give me courage, let me not give up so easy.. Make me understand that what is due to me is what I am getting, and what's not meant for me is not meant for me... Yah, Allah, in everything I do and I can't do, please Guide me, shower me strength and Wisdom.