Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy new year but I'm not really that Happy...

happy 2013! but i'm having world's one of the worst feeling, so nostalgic, I'm home right now but in few hours I'll be leaving again, my flight back to Manila 12.55pm.

It makes me wanna cry, I didn't know why I'll never used to this kind of situation.. I'm just so afraid that everything might not be at place when I get back, everything changes, everyone grows old, time moves fast and it doesn't wait nor care, I hope you know what I mean..

I slept late, witnessed the sound of the new year, the fireworks, anything that relates it--- though I'm just in my room waiting for my eyes to shut, we don't celebrate the new year...

And I should be still sleeping right now but I couldn't, I woke up at 4:30am and I couldn't sleep back.. i feel so melancholic and sad, I had this non stop random thoughts... The thoughts of not going back to Manila even crossed my mind, good thing I wasn't raised by parents to be irresponsible and leave my task without notice, you know me well my dear diary!

wahhhh... its been so long since I wrote here (yah a month is already long enough), but because I am so desperate to ease away my unwanted insanity (hehe i can't describe it), i need to this this, I need to shout it out here..

Anyway, I'm gonna be fine! I shouldn't let the bad vibes eat me up on my first day of 2013.. no.. no... no...

This year is going to be great for me, it should be my turning point! If I should have my new year's resolution, that would be me, being a better and righteous woman,in any way!

So dear God, Yah Allah, help me please!

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