Showing posts with label despise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label despise. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

bad morning

8.22am and my day is ruined! I know I'm not good in housekeeping, yes maybe I'm not used to it or im just the laziest person in the whole wide world... was it laziness or am just not enjoying it..? there you go, i'm sure you will tell me that it doesn't matter whether youre enjoying it or not, if it's the right thing to do, then have it accomplished! okay fine! that's why I'm trying and I have no choice since we dont have a maid anymore and I am the only female here at home aside from my mom, so traditionally, damn household chores is my task! but for a person like me, would you expect a perfect work?! i dont ask for an appreciation coz i know well that I dont deserve it.... but my effort?? cant it be at least recognize a little? that i wasn't that useless?.... o, am I not useless?? i dont know, maybe my existence is to give the word useless a meaning...and anyway, Im no longer a civil engineer but a janitor... haha.. yes, todays janitors must attend school for about six years and pay tuition fees too..... take it from me.... and I cant even be the best janitor in town...

i noticed that writing an article is easy when the subject is disgusting!!!!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

what do I live for

My time so wasted, doing nothing, afraid of taking risk, I’m so stuck. 25 long years, still my existence vague to me.. I don’t know what am I still doing here, being a burden to anyone, useless.. I used to think that my family is the only reason I can see for my living….. but if I only cause them these troubles, then I rather disappear.. these miseries, blame on me… I know its all my fault… Maybe that’s my purpose here, to cause pain.. I know, I’m making it complicated… but I just can’t help it… I guess that’s really who I am.. Most of my actions are contradicting to what I really fee… so damn hate it..