My time so wasted, doing nothing, afraid of taking risk, I’m so stuck. 25 long years, still my existence vague to me.. I don’t know what am I still doing here, being a burden to anyone, useless.. I used to think that my family is the only reason I can see for my living….. but if I only cause them these troubles, then I rather disappear.. these miseries, blame on me… I know its all my fault… Maybe that’s my purpose here, to cause pain.. I know, I’m making it complicated… but I just can’t help it… I guess that’s really who I am.. Most of my actions are contradicting to what I really fee… so damn hate it..
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