So this is the last day of August, I guess my birth month is both my most loved and hated month...
When I say random thoughts, that would mean drama.. hayst, I swear I hate drama... but I think it runs to my blood... I think everybody is having that moment in their lives, they just don't entertain it unlike me I have all the time in the world to write them, that's how I cope... and whether I'll write those thoughts or not, they will still disturb my mind.. they will bother me... it wont give me peace.... but in writing them, I think I feel a little relieved...
When people don't care, don't even bother about my sentiments, don't even give a damn to listen when all you want to happen is for them to listen, to say what suffocates and breaking you, to set free what is being locked and blurry but they don't listen..... all i have to do is just write them...
Sometimes, I don't say what I feel because I don't want them to see how vulnerable I am, how insensible I am, how nonsense the words coming out from me or sometimes I just don't say a thing because they're making me feel that they don't wanna hear anything from me.
Some people are selfish.. or most of them... telling them your life's issues could only annoy them... being miserable is contagious... so better talk to your self.. you may looked insane but its totally okay..
Everybody is facing life crisis.. mine is actually nothing compares to others... I know I'm just making things too complicated... I'm just thinking too much.. I wonder how others doing it that easy?? What's the secret?? How do they endure and act as if everything is okay? Was it really that "nothing" to them? They could just let things pass without complaining, without explaining, without ranting, without saying a thing even it kills them inside.... I both admire and despise them... I thought I'm good at pretending, maybe I'm really not... they are much good in handling it... I'm not.. I wish I'm also like them...
So what's the point here?? Nothing to be exact, this is just random... and after saying things like that... I'm feeling fine... I hope I didn't sound not normal here... I knew I'm not the only one... everybody felt this.... this is just my way of accepting things...
And I'm totally okay... yes I am.. when you aren't doing anything, surely these thoughts will cross your mind too... I love Sunday, but because I'm a loner and nobody really loves a loner.... I have to write this... and if doing this is not right, I don't really mind... writing makes me feel alright... I just hope nobody really reads this... I couldn't let anyone gets confused because I'm such an unpredictable witch! Hahaha... I'm really like this... but I'm not forgetting to be thankful for actually making my life not the worst in the world.. surely its not... I maybe at the wrong place but I'm still hoping, dreaming and praying for more good things ahead.. and I'm sorry for being bad sometimes.
Rise and shine now drama princess!!!! The world is still beautiful... I know!
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