Before I'll start my story today, look at me at the above picture... that's how someone been thru a lot of mixed emotions in just one day looked like.... yes, all sorts of emotion: sad, upset, happy, pressured, overwhelmed, tensed, impatient, felt like crying, smiling alone.. etc etc....
During our meeting today, it was announced the Lee will be transferred to other project. I was happy for him because it was something he wanted, but sad for me because it's already too lonely at site. I'll miss a lunch and dinner buddy.. yah, it's really making me sad, they are teasing me that I'm gonna cry.. of course I won't... but at some point, I really feel like crying. Lee is that kind of friend who you would hate sometimes, he annoys me a lot, he even puts my self esteem to its lowest level, he would mock me several times, he would laugh at me and calls me ugly and baduy.. haha, and countless are those days I've texted him that I hated him, that he disappoints me a lot... but no matter how I would avoid him, he always managed to win me back.. hey, don't take that romantically..haha.. I never really had a close male friend that I could share my deepest thoughts with... until that day I met him... but not beyond genuine friendship... just to make things clear. .. though most disliked him, I remained unaffected.. I always tell him "lee, hindi ka mabait, pero mabuti kang tao".. others just can't see that. When I'm upset, he could make me laugh.. when I'm confuse, he gave me advises that surprises me, sometimes I thought I knew everything about what I should do, but his points of view are sensible... kahit minsan ang arte arte lang ng paraan ng pagpapaliwanag nya.
Today, my boss pressured me to do something .. but I didn't do that.. at least I know how to say I can't when its truly not doable... and I was really busy working on my billing today.
Today.. I've been upset too with my QS... instead of improving, he's actually deteriorating... what have I done wrong?? Or something is really wrong with him..
Today.. I'm overwhelmed that my previous QS is really quick in answering my queries thru emails... I'm no longer his supervisor, but just like before, he makes me feel that he didn't want to make things hard for me.. I don't know, I don't even think that I've been a good boss to him.. pinababayaan ko nga sya. Hehe.
Today, I've finally spoken to my area manager, also with my project manager, regarding the performance of my Q.S because I couldn't take it anymore! I've been really patient about him, I'm not that kind of "reklamdora" too...okay lang na paulit ulit lang ako.. but I see no effort in him, it's unhealthy na raw kase... I took it too long but finally I broke my silence...
In that moment, I was hesitant, a little guilty and unsure, Mac came in. I feel glad that he was there at that time... I know Mac cares for me, not romantically again huh??? Hehe.. he was one of my batchmate who entered Primea.. we became friends.. I remembered last valentines day when he told me he loves me, and i told him i love you too... haha... walang malisya! Friends lang kami... he's just a sweet guy friend that I don't mind saying I love him. Hahaha.. ulit, walang malisya! Haha
Before, the day ends.. Margaux, Lee, Mela and I had a delicious dinner at Greenbelt.. nagutom ako sa araw na to... Glad margaux came, because I meant it when I told her, I'm needing a friend today..
And I went home smiling alone kahit tired pa ako.. okay na ako.
Sleepy now..
Good night.. tomorrow is another day.
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