I'm feeling anxious and I want to fight it.. i don't want it to ousmart me.
I'm so thankful I had my new job.. I really prayed that my next job is something I will deserve, I will find fulfillment, happiness, and something I'll be good at, no matter how long I'll wait.
But as expected, the adjustment isn't that easy. Yes, I had my work experiences but they are doing different thing in this new office. How can I be good at this? i know they are expecting something from me, but how, when I am clueless. Doubts in myself are slowly crawling in. It's been a week but I am not oriented or taught properly. I'm not sure yet if the Officer In Charge will support me or he'll just assumed I know what to do. I hope he's jusy busy and not because he hated or intimadated with my presence. I wanted to talk to him but he's always on a site visit or meeting, and I am left not knowing exactly what to do while everyone is expecting something from me.
This quote is actually the reason why I'm feeling anxious...
"Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of looking stupid and fear of the unknown.”
I need to overcome this.
Today, my sister, her husband and my nieces and nephews will be out of town for week... Those kiddos are my happy pill which means I'm going to endure the week without my energizer (sigh). I'll be fine.. I'm gonna beat this anxiety.
And this job, no matter how blur things now, I know I'll be okay in time. I trust the Almighty because he gave me this. Just because things aren't easy now doesn't mean I don't deserve this, adjustment and knowing everything wont be achieved overnight. I'll just be honest with everyone and I'll try not to get affected with people's impression. I'll just try to do my job at the best I can and the rest I'll leave to my prayers.
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