getting bigger

Now I know the feeling of those chubby girls when a beautiful dress wouldn’t fit them… Whoah, I’m gaining weight now… of course I’m happy, it’s one of my wishes though my fats now showing up..

There was a beautiful black dress I saw and I like it so much, but unfortunately it wouldn’t fit me, I was so confident it would since I had no problem with sizes….. because I’m so slim!!!....that was then…. Well, not anymore…  and I cant imagine myself having discipline on foods…. Diet to be specific… well, for now, I don’t have to… after all, it’s what I really wanted…..

HOW BOUT CALL CENTERS?

I’m giving my self three weeks here in manila to find an engineering related job, and I am on the second week now… And after three weeks of not being lucky, perhaps I need to try call center… it isn’t in line of my profession, but everybody is qualified to become a call center agent, as long as you’re capable of speaking or with good communication skills.. well, I may not be expert on that, but I think I deserve a try…. Go Ash, just give it a try….!!! 

trying to be an island

...though no man is an island...

char char

 

 

This photo shows my first airplane encounter. The was astounding! Seeing the Earth down there and the clouds… wow! But behind those astonishing experience, is that I screamed to myself every time the plane became really movable, when it goes up and down, my heart did too… I got lil dizzy and deafened by the pressures up there… well, that was indeed a good flight, perhaps I need to experienced that when 50% of humanity did too.

never a farewell

It’s 8pm of 16^th of January 2009, currently hearing the voice of my eldest brother singing with the song playing on his dvd player right now. Well, tomorrow I’ll be leaving home.. Of course I wouldn’t say that this would be my last Saturday nigh here, never! I’ll be back and praying that everything is still the same here at home. Well, I don’t know when will I be back…. I cant really tell right now, but absolutely I will..

I had a great day today, well same old stuff, same routine…. But we had a lunch there at KC, just me, my father and mother. A little shopping with my mom ...I’m supposed to buy a traveling bag but I haven’t found any… maybe I’ll used the old trolley bag of my mom, the one she bought in Saudi Arabia, when she had her pilgrimage.. that was 14 years ago, but still, the bag still looks great… and take note, that was the same bag I used when I went to college there in MSU nine years ago, and recently, yes just last year, my father used it when he had his pilgrimage… and now I’m using it again….there are lots of bag we purchased after fourteen years, but that’s the only bag that I think I can use tomorrow and might accommodate my things… (dapat bag ang title neto e.. hehe)

Enough for that, I am being called for dinner… garlic flavored chicken, here I come!!!!

THE PROMISE

Just this morning, my father told me that he's worried about how I perform my duties regarding our religion, and I'm a kinda guilty on that... I dont forget my religion though I perform it not the usual or appropriate way, only my heart knows... but since it wasn't the way my father wanted me too... this I will promise that I'll try to do what he really wants me to do someday....I got to find my self first.... and really hope and pray that my parents would be given a long and healthy life because I want to make them feel proud and stop worying about me someday...

I also promise that if I'll be fortunate to earn lots of money, I will take them back to Holy Makkah.... and pay them back and buy them what they want even though they're not asking for it.

I will also promise that never will I forget my religion and someday I will perform that real duties of a true Islam.

and I'm also aware that we can't predict life, it will end unexpectedly and a possiblity not reaching those days but I am writing this for these are the things I INTEND to do someday...

I'll be living tomorrow to search for a greener pasture, it would be a quest for the purpore of my existence and I promise that I will never lose the right way... that I'll be a better person... that I am only doing this to clear my mind, to set my confuseness free.

So Help me God... remind me these promises..

I HAVE AN EXCELLENT FATHER

I have the greatest father in the world, I don’t know but behind his kind of attitude and accomplishments none of my brothers had leveled him.  His parents owned hectares of land but not really into education, but this did not stop him to pursue his education and achieved doctoral degree. Currently, aside from his good position in one of the Universities here in Mindanao, he’s been so active in Non Government Organizations. He’s really a busy person, so workaholic. He’s out of the house everyday and see him only in the evening. And if you think he’s spending his free time resting, you’re wrong… Everyday before and after going to office, he checks on his shop, yes, he owns a steel works shop, he doesn’t just manage, he’s also doing the work itself, cutting, fabricating, installing, framing, he doesn’t only rely on his labors. He’s also doing some carpentry works and electrical works at home, he have so much of skill. He even washes dishes sometimes.. and he was once my tutor too…I don’t know,  he might get tired if he rests…. So sad to know that none of his skills were inherited by my brothers….. I’m even guilty that I can’t also be the best daughter in the world and I don’t think he deserves it… But swear, he’ll gonna be proud of me someday and I’ll be able to repay him back although he doesn’t ask for it…

                                 

 Well, don’t get me wrong my midwife mom is also the best mom in the whole wide world….