Stuck!

I think my being indecisive is about to kill me now.  I’ve been thinking about this since I started working in my present company, that was three years ago and I’m still stuck in here.

To quit my job or not?? So this is some sorta pros and cons huh??

Am I cursed? Its always happening, my closest friends are always leaving me, yes, not just once but many times, I’m always left behind. And its happening again, two of my special friends are about to quit, and it breaks my heart, these people are just one of those few reasons why I can still manage to smile despite my hectic schedule (corny ba? Hehe).. That’s why I’m being baffled now, shall I go too?

I’m staying because I told my boss that I get to finish the project till next year, I don’t wanna disappoint him. I’m staying because I haven’t finalized a decision yet whether I should go home –( I don’t think a nice job is waiting for me there) or I should go abroad—I’m thinking of Singapore too where I have lots of friends there (but Singapore is having a strict policy now on their employment process, that means it would be  risky, I might end up penniless and go back to my parents for financial assistance ). I’m staying because I hate adjustments, I’m having a hard time mingling with other co-workers if I transfer (introvert ako e), I’m already at ease with almost everyone now at the office. I’m staying because I’m having my own money here, it wasn’t that catchy but it couldn’t starve me at least. I’m staying because being part of a high end project up to its last touch is an honor. Being here make me feel that I am important.

On the contrary, here why I should go. Honestly, I think I’m no longer happy here…  I’m feeling tired. I dreaded waking up on Monday. I leave the office always late, .. I’m overly busy I’m forgetting my life, I mean it’s like I’m forced to be workaholic, I don’t think its normal, it seems like 90% percent of my life is about my job, I don’t even need to be working too hard! , I don’t think I could have a long vacation because of my new position… How can I go home ? How can I fulfill my dreams of travelling? I got no time! I couldn’t even check flight schedules! Time is running so fast I might not notice my hair is turning white. Aren't we working inorder to live, to be not bored, to get what we want? I think I'm gonna die overworking!

Here’s more, I can go now because I think I have enough knowledge of what I ought to know about my designation, life is too short to wait for myself get rot in here. I must not get contented in what I’m being paid of , do I deserve that anyway? I still couldn’t build my own dream house (do I have one?), I still couldn’t afford a car(as if I know how to drive), when I get home, I still have to live at my parents place, ride at their cars, and the lot they gave me is still arid and empty. What I’m trying to say is, If I wanted to be rich than I shouldn’t settle for this—lifestyle here in Manila is expensive!

O my! So which is which?? Why am I not a drafting a resignation letter yet.. Somebody help! O God, help me, clear my mind, show me the right path.

(P.S- of course this post is hidden to most of my officemates) ;)

Gloomy Sunday

Yes, its gloomy Sunday and so do I.. hehe…

Its been ages since the last time I did this.. Writing my Sunday’s whereabouts, my day off! Hehe.. yes, as if today was an extraordinary day, well its not..

As I’ve said, today is something just like the usual, woke up almost 10am, washed my uniform, wrote a letter to someone (not done yet), brought my other dirty clothes to the laundry shop and claimed what I have left there a week ago, tried to cook something but I did not—(well, at least I’ve tried), watched the rain drops, when it stopped I shopped a little, paid my credit card, met my father at SM Makati who just got here this afternoon , (he had a delayed flight, maybe because of the weather) they’re going to Indonesia for a meeting (I wish I could go too, hehe), and now I am writing this!

That’s all folks!

Bored!

There are moments I’m loving the scenario of just staying in my room doing nothing.. But today, it was an exception, I’m feeling so drop dead bored.

It started at office this morning.. I felt so pathetic and low, I don’t feel like working but I must work, I have tons of work to do in case you don’t know. Oh my diary you haven’t heard  enough of me this past few weeks , aside from being busy I found a friend whom I could talk about my sentiments, thoughts and etceteras, stuffs I used to tell you (sorry I forgot about you)… But maybe, you’re still my best friend, I will always go back to you, this friend I’m talking about is leaving me so soon.

Anyway, I must update my blog site…  I must change this corny dash board “letters to soulmate”. .. It’s kinda “ew!” hehe..

Where Am I? This is just one of my weaknesses in writing, I don’t stick to one topic, I always find myself getting away from what I really want to write about, (what’s so new, its anything goes right? I own you anyway.. haha)

So where am I again? Haha.. When I’m in office, I always want to get myself out of it.. But as soon as I reached home, like earlier tonight, I realized how boring my life is. Unwanted random thoughts are eating me up, only the four corners of my room is what I’m seeing, they’re like cloaking me away from my sanity. I have no one to talk to, that’s why I ended up talking to myself, to you my dear diary.. haha.. I feel so envious to my officemates, for sure they are having a good time with their family by now! Errr…

Haha… that’s all. I’ve said enough I guess.. I’m a bit fine now.

Its 11:15pm now, (I don’t know how to reset the time here in blogger, got no time to learn about it), shall I watch a movie now? Honestly I am so sleepy now, but I don’t feel like going to dreamland , not yet.

Mean People!

People are mean! Yes they are, and I’m not labeling myself as an exception, maybe that’s part of being rational..

Anyway never expect that everyone would go according to your standards, to your will, to how you want them to react. Some of them wouldn’t cease on pestering your mood, some would rather die in seeing you happy. Even if you are the most kind person in the world, there will always be someone who would put you down.

There are people who would never appreciate your ways, no matter how hard you’ll work, still they wouldn’t be contented of your performance, they wouldn’t see what you are going through, they’ll never care about you, they will only consider themselves.

 What happen to the world, don't they remember the golden rule? Did they forget how to be considerate? Would it be so hard to pause for a while and think if you’ll hurt someone’s feeling before making a move?

The only way we could survive from their browbeating presence is to stop thinking about them, not to worry about the sarcastic words they’ll throw you, by just laughing your heart out instead of frowning because they’ve insulted you. Answer them back if you want, and if you can’t because you are too kind to fight back, then forget about it! Don’t let them make you feel outsmarted.. Running away from them isn't a solution coz they are everywhere, you'll always end up meeting people with this behavior. Remember they’ll only win over you if you permit them. Just put it this way, these kind of people will help you become a stronger person. Life is too short to let them make you feel inferior.

Welcoming myself to Blogger!

I have this website so long time ago but I wasn't that active, not even so familiar with its features and mechanics because  I don't want to canoe on two rivers at the same time! haha, I was so into my multiply site then, but since its gone (my multiply blog and echoses-I'm going to miss it!), I shifted here..

I've imported some of my blog entries from multiply in here but it doesn't look the same, the pictures are gone.. it breaks my heart!! (that's why I still believe that journals and scrapbooking manually is still the best way in saving memories! haysst)

Anyway, today is my first day of figuring out  what am I suppose to do, I have 4 day break due to the Holy week, but I'm not home, I'm feeling guilty on that, I know overworking (literally) isn't an excuse for me forget to book a flight home... I must be eating my favorite dishes and have some bonding moments with my family by now (frowning!).

So, what am I suppose to do to beat this world weariness??? -- My answer is--- movie marathon, clean the room, candy crush, eat a lot, more of blogging....... and etcera.. (etcera means I don't know! haha)

Hey Ash, welcome to blogger! Your new drama starts now!

echos lang bago matulog!

yes, its like i couldn't sleep if I wouldn't write something in here.. though honestly, I really don't know what to say, I'm a bit upset,.... drop it! i think being upset is not unusual to me, i hate it and you may think that because I tolerate it, i couldn't get away from it...

see? i couldn't start it right! basta lang... gusto ko lang ilabas ang sama ng loob ko... kahit pa parang di ko naman alam ang dahilan... hahahha... nababaliw nanaman ako, ang arte arte ko, di naman bagay! as what one of friends told me.. hahahah.. tama nga naman sya... pero wala akong pakialam sa ngayon, mag-iinarte pa rin ako!!! hehe

naiinis ako!!! nakakainis kasi talaga yung ibang tao sa mundo... naiinis talaga ako... hahahhah

matutulog na ako.. yun na yun! ayos na ako!! bukas okay na ako, sana okay na ako...

Family Trip to Lake Sebu and Gumasa Beach

Sorry for the late post, this was last Dec. 29-30