I WANT A LIFE

I don’t know if this is exactly what I want, or maybe I’m just too blind to see… I’m not happy, but not that miserable as well. I know it’s only me, I’m a having a battle with myself. Sometimes I thought I knew what to do but I ended up doing nothing. I’m running out of courage, my weakness is cloaking me, damn, I can’t move on! I play safe, but I still break my heart. I’m not growing up, just growing old, and it distresses me. Regrets happen in every ending of a decision, but in my case I regret now, coz I couldn’t even come up a resolution. What’s wrong with me?

 I’m dreaming, I’m wishing and I’m hoping and I think I’m crying my heart out coz I know those are not the way to reach the pedestals of my desired happiness, I need to make a move, I need to do something. If I don’t take chances then nothing will change, I will be stuck.

O somebody tell me what I can do to have that guts for me to realize the right things to do. I want a LIFE!

I’m praying.

ZERO HOUR

Time is up! Whether I like it or not, I must extend the limits of my career. I'm quiet upset that I might not be able to perform my duties as civil engineer for now, I still have long way to run before I'll become  a fulfilled and full pledged one, but I'm not fortunate enough to take this career path, maybe not now. You know I've tried my patience, but there are many opportunities that require not this title.. and who knows, I belong there.

Of course, I dont declare dead end on m real profession, I'm just opening another career path. I'll still be waiting.. I must trudge another trail first.