AAA's DIARIES

Yes! I am that kind-- a person who sometimes can’t voice out what she truly feels inside  and instead, her words ended up on a piece of paper, notebooks or here… I found relief on that, at least.

 Consider me a writer, with yours truly, the sole reader as well.. hehe

I write things to some maybe childish, stories, poetries--- mostly heart breaking pieces, I even write letters for someone I couldn’t express my real feelings to, even letters to my imaginary soulmate.. laugh! I wont stop you, cheers to hopeless romantics..

And most especially I carve down my burdens here, its like carrying a wagon load of pain and disappointments and will only be lighten up if I pour them down here, like writing down my worries on the seashore and let the waves wipe them away..  clichéd? Yah, I’m such a corny person if you don’t know. Haha

So long for an intro when what I actually wanted to say is--- How am I gonna be able to fill all out these when I’m just so tired of doing so? Coz I am busy! I’m being guilty when I leave the pages of my planner and diary (with dates) blank.

My 2012 planner, with my old planners….

My 2012 diary, its February now but I haven’t written so much there. And that's my sketchpad and “notes to self” mini notebook.

Ofcourse my old declining (I hope not) laptop and my brother’s too—those I used in updating my multiply site.

Thanks to these stuffs, they’d help me record my unsaid thoughts.

MY EXISTENCE

I’ve been hearing so many reasons why life should be appreciated, life is beautiful. But I’m still on the trudge searching for these reasons. I can see these people enjoying life because they have reasons to. This is my quest to my life’s meaning and I know very well that I have long way to run. I don’t want to end up not knowing the purpose of my existence. I want to know why life is beautiful or if it’s only to chosen ones. I want to do what I really I want to do, I want to gain more confidence. I want to serve my family. I want to know many more things and I hope it’s not too late... Yes I agree that happiness is all in the mind, but my mind is not that absurd and numb. No matter how I tried to eradicate naysayer attitude, it still comes after me  but swear I try to go against it. Well, I sound morbidly hopeful right now, yes right now, let’s give emphasis to that, maybe melancholic for now but tomorrow I wont. As I said, I don’t want my life just end that way, I need reasons, I must receive what is due to me and behind the obvious truth of this life’s not fair play, I won’t stop believing or at least seek for every purpose……