MY EXISTENCE

I’ve been hearing so many reasons why life should be appreciated, life is beautiful. But I’m still on the trudge searching for these reasons. I can see these people enjoying life because they have reasons to. This is my quest to my life’s meaning and I know very well that I have long way to run. I don’t want to end up not knowing the purpose of my existence. I want to know why life is beautiful or if it’s only to chosen ones. I want to do what I really I want to do, I want to gain more confidence. I want to serve my family. I want to know many more things and I hope it’s not too late... Yes I agree that happiness is all in the mind, but my mind is not that absurd and numb. No matter how I tried to eradicate naysayer attitude, it still comes after me  but swear I try to go against it. Well, I sound morbidly hopeful right now, yes right now, let’s give emphasis to that, maybe melancholic for now but tomorrow I wont. As I said, I don’t want my life just end that way, I need reasons, I must receive what is due to me and behind the obvious truth of this life’s not fair play, I won’t stop believing or at least seek for every purpose……