BAD OMEN?

I don't really believe in superstitious belief but I don't exactly disregard their possibilities of being proved either.

I'm on my way to life's good fate quest, soul searching and seek for a greener pasture. I'm supposed to get my plane ticket today but had it postponed, instead I'll have it tomorrow. But just a while ago, a guitar slid down and broke, I'm not sure if it's my fault, but I feel that I am to blame because I was the only person sitting on the  bench where in the guitar was resting just behind it, no one saw the incident and I don't know what to tell them or if they would believe that it wasn't my fault.

Not only that, two nights ago, I accidentally broke a digital camera, it fell and its lens was twisted, it's no longer functioning. (sigh)

Bottom line here is, are those things happen for a reason or I'm just really clumsy?! I can still remember one day when an elder exclaimed a bad omen when I was about to go school and I hit unintentionally a bottle and got broke, she said it was a bad sign that something not good will gonna happen. I don't remember what happened next or was there really a not so good incident occurred.

Now that I'm about to take a trip, I am just wondering if those occurrences  are trying to warn me of something.. Do you think it would affect my journey to be or I will just say, come what may??? ....

RANDOM EMOTIONS AT AROUND 5 IN THE MORNING

I had this very strange feeling this morning at around 5 I guess. It's so melancholic, really confusing, mixed emotions. I am half dreaming being alone in a gloomy and really cold place, like being refrigerated in an ice land, the place is supposed to be beautiful, I saw snow and an igloo, it's actually what I wish to see sometimes, but right then i don't enjoy the scene. Loneliness seems to embrace me so tight. I fear of something I really can't figure out, it's so uncertain and vague, and it came to the point that I even feared and dreaded life, so morbid I know. I'm sorry. I had run out of courage. I'm only half dreaming but I'm very sure that my mind is conscious and wandering.

It's 5:50 A.M while I'm drafting this, I cannot go back to sleep now, I'm so bothered and anxious....

I hope this feeling will fade away later on, I cling on that thought so I can still face the world virtuously....

My January 1, 2010

My January 1 2010...... started with finding coins in our yard (maybe my lil cousins left it there when they were playing around) early in the morning and at the end of the day, I accidentally broke my mom's digital camera....

how's that? my whole year would be what???

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

These are just maybe’s, I don’t really rely on my resolutions, sad to know that I am so inconsistent in most things, today I will, tomorrow I don’t…

 

1. wouldn’t care if I’ll be rejected
2. Be confident and independent
3. become more optimistic
4. Express what I really feel, yes when yes, no when no!
5. Give people chances, must not judge them in the first encounter
6. Insecurities and bitterness, set aside.
7. Acceptance of inevitable
8. more faith
9. face the world with good outlook
10. meet new people

 

 

But these ten we’ll try… J

VM said that

"you really would not like the feling of having several seconds of silence and freeze ryt after waking up. its like bein afraid of sumthng u wudnt like to come. u come to think, ur mind wanders, ul have second thoughts,... and most importantly u become angry of the circumstance of having to work abroad and away frm wer ...u love to stay! CAN SOMEBODY GIVE ME THE POWER TO FREEZE TIME!?"

VM, my friend in facebook and a college batch mate posted this on Facebook, I want to tell him why work abroad when he feels that way??? but since we're not that close, i did not say anything on his page..
Actually his line makes me feel confuse now, beacuse I am thinking of exploring, and might work in far away place too... (lol?)

last day of 2009

"goodmorning world.... seize the day! last day of 2009........"

that I posted to my facebook account just this morning....and I wonder if I "Carpe Diem" today...
wala lng, just to make a post in the end of 2009!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

just a flashback

I condemned what had happened to Maguindanao Massacre, and it reminds me of this one critical, almost suicidal trip from Davao City to Cotabato City, September 2009. We’ve been hearing anomalies and killing incidents in the area of Maguindanao, specifically the area in the south. Though I haven’t seen any concrete evidence but I’ve heard enough about the place, I know those are not just gossips, not hearsay, the issue won’t come out without bases.

 

With my parents and my brother whose our driver that time, and my uncle who rode with us, we had a trip home. It’s past 3 pm when we left Davao City, our route is Davao City passing north Cotabato to Cotabato City proper, the usual and nearer path. When we were about to reach Makilala, we received a text from home informing us that flash flood again hit the part of the highway of our original route, so we wont be able to cross. There’s no turning back, we need to get back home that day, so without hesitation, Ayah declared to pass the other way, we took the unfamiliar road from Makilala. The first place we passed by was so peaceful, but the silence gave me strange feeling, no electricity in the area, it’s seems that we were the only traveler at that moment.

 

 After almost an hour, we saw lights in the other side of the road, there were finally vehicles from afar, and we met in the cross road of Datu Paglas. Then we get through Buluan and see a lil crowd and establishments in Tacurong City, we stopped in a Gasoline Station, that’s past 6pm..

 

then here we ago again, back to the trip… it’s again total darkness when we reached the other places in Maguindanao, very few street lights, some part none at all.. Surely we passed the controversial junction going to the area of the massacre. Between 7 and 8pm, I resemble the place into a ghost town, no human beings roam around, no other traveler, but a tractor-- reminds me of the backhoe. We also encounter checkpoints, luckily they didn’t stop us, oh, yes, we were stopped once, if I were not mistaken, those were CAFGU's  detachment. The inspector didn’t say a word, just watched us with his flashlight… then we move on…

 

Thank God... We reached home safe at 9pm… well, just a flashback!