I DON'T WANNA GO BACK THERE

When I was in college and had enrolled in a 4hour drive away from home University where I usually went home every semestral break only, I used to feel like I don’t wanna go back there (in that University) after about two weeks vacation.

Same thing when I had my first job, also miles away from home, I dreaded that feeling of packing my things because I need to get back to work.

And now, I feel like saying this line again, “I don’t wanna go back there”.. I’m referring to Manila, where my current job is. But this time only 1.45 hours away, yeah, almost two hours by plane… errr.! And I miss home already.. I can’t get enough of it especially when I am being torn of two houses—our real home and our shop, my siblings on the former and my parents on the latter.

Bad. I don’t wanna go back there… but I must. 

Primea's Xmas Party

we had our Xmas party todayand I had these gifts.

An Organizer/Planner and a headset, I received these in our office exchange Gift, Mang Frank, one of our worker, happened to pick Sarah Wayne Callies--that's my code!


Architect Anna gave me this shirt.


Engr. Waldo is the one responsible for this, a fake passport (Princess Passport), he said the moment he saw this one, he remembered me.. hahaha..so he bought it for me, its actually just a mini note book.. they actually calling me a princess there in the office, i dont know they're just tripping, I'm always telling them that I'm not a princess, they just wanna believe I am. haha


12/23/2011
A bench shirt from our Project Manager

And yes I dont celebrate Christmas... But I wanna say THANKS to them.

Jan. 2, 2012

I reached my table at office with these stuffs, Mam may and mam Leneth gave me those.

DATEM goes decade (2011 Xmas Party)

  Tomorrow will be Datem’s Christmas Party and what I’m about to tell you here is regardingt our Dance competition. You heard my whines last year about the hard times I went through during the practice. I’m not a good dancer! Haha..

But this time, I’m doing better, they even named me the, “the most improved dancer of the year” hahaha.

But you know what, we are not that confident as last year. I could say, our performance and presentation in year 2010 was a way better (that resulted a bitter reaction to some when we ranked just 3^rd).

In 2009, Primea Team got the 1^st place. Maybe, the other project managers in other project sites are right in saying that we couldn’t get any award this time since Jeaneatte (she’s in Oregon, USA now) is no longer part of our team.

I admit, cooperation is lacking in our team now. Even our own Project Manager told us this afternoon that this is the first time he felt nervous (oo, kinakarir namin to! Hehe).

The Practice

That’s it. I’ll update you.

12/23/2011

I almost forgot to update this.. hey, we won it!

The Finale

Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I feel troubled, annoyed, irritated, disturbed, puzzled and crazy! I don’t know, I just hate this feeling…

I hate people who’s being insensitive, who criticize you and pull you down, who are supposed to be helping you because you work in one team but they’re not instead.

I hate people who never admit their mistakes that as if they are always right.

I hate me learning how to curse in the wind, though not heard by anyone, I know it wasn’t right, I’m not that kind, I’m starting to believe that bad habit is contagious, and I must strengthen my sense of resistance.

I think I’m sick but I don’t want to go to a doctor, I’m afraid they’ll tell me that I’m dying so soon. And I hate that I’m afraid, coz it wouldn’t make any difference whether I knew or not.

I’m not someone who is excellent in leading a team, I’m no good of so many things, I maybe inexistent to some, I may be stupid, I maybe someone who would not wanted by anyone… but I am someone who will never brag for something I must not blow my horn of, I will admit my mistake, I will do what I can do for the betterment of something, I’ll try to be good and do the right thing if I can’t make the smart one.

And I am confusing you now, I am either.

I feel bad really right now.

It seems that there’s no way to release myself from this anxiety, if only I could run away, disappear, just be gone for a while, then I will.

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. Sleep might be the only resort.

Zzzzzzzzzz..

12/10/2011

O my dear diary, today is an exception to those days I was glad that you couldn’t complain against my rants and negative thoughts…right now, I want you to answer me back; I want to talk  to someone other than you, other than myself about my deepest feelings.

The weather today was gloomy and so with my mood. There were moments I was feeling jolly, but still slight depression outsmarted me. I don’t know.

I was offended but I couldn’t defend myself. My heart still on the rocks, or maybe just my ego, I’m uncertain… have you felt that?.. That sucks!

I’m about to sleep, but i couldn’t… I need to do this,, I don’t wanna carry this desolation in my sleep.

That’s it. I must be fine!

Good night!

its rainy starry night

Ayala, Makati

The Manila Peninsula

The Symphony of lights at Makati Triangle Garden

Why? Maybe because today they gave us our 13^th month pay..

I’m supposed to be on my way home, when my officemates decided to have a walk nearby our workplace…

I wasn’t able to bring my camera with me, so I have my phone instead to take these shots.

 

Errrrr...

Arghhhh! Someone’s really pissed off here… that’s me! I couldn’t contain this. This day is supposed to be a relaxing one, but I wasn’t, I was so irritated.

I wanna tear off my HSBC credit card, its not behaving, or maybe I’m just stupid. I availed one so I could use it for online booking of plane tickets, but something went wrong. I called the customer service twice, I feel dumb doing that especially our conversation (with the customer service representative) was cut when he’s about to answer my query--- I realized late that I have no enough load on my phone. (stupid again)

I feel this day was wasted.