Welcoming myself to Blogger!

I have this website so long time ago but I wasn't that active, not even so familiar with its features and mechanics because  I don't want to canoe on two rivers at the same time! haha, I was so into my multiply site then, but since its gone (my multiply blog and echoses-I'm going to miss it!), I shifted here..

I've imported some of my blog entries from multiply in here but it doesn't look the same, the pictures are gone.. it breaks my heart!! (that's why I still believe that journals and scrapbooking manually is still the best way in saving memories! haysst)

Anyway, today is my first day of figuring out  what am I suppose to do, I have 4 day break due to the Holy week, but I'm not home, I'm feeling guilty on that, I know overworking (literally) isn't an excuse for me forget to book a flight home... I must be eating my favorite dishes and have some bonding moments with my family by now (frowning!).

So, what am I suppose to do to beat this world weariness??? -- My answer is--- movie marathon, clean the room, candy crush, eat a lot, more of blogging....... and etcera.. (etcera means I don't know! haha)

Hey Ash, welcome to blogger! Your new drama starts now!

echos lang bago matulog!

yes, its like i couldn't sleep if I wouldn't write something in here.. though honestly, I really don't know what to say, I'm a bit upset,.... drop it! i think being upset is not unusual to me, i hate it and you may think that because I tolerate it, i couldn't get away from it...

see? i couldn't start it right! basta lang... gusto ko lang ilabas ang sama ng loob ko... kahit pa parang di ko naman alam ang dahilan... hahahha... nababaliw nanaman ako, ang arte arte ko, di naman bagay! as what one of friends told me.. hahahah.. tama nga naman sya... pero wala akong pakialam sa ngayon, mag-iinarte pa rin ako!!! hehe

naiinis ako!!! nakakainis kasi talaga yung ibang tao sa mundo... naiinis talaga ako... hahahhah

matutulog na ako.. yun na yun! ayos na ako!! bukas okay na ako, sana okay na ako...

Family Trip to Lake Sebu and Gumasa Beach

Sorry for the late post, this was last Dec. 29-30

Happy new year but I'm not really that Happy...

happy 2013! but i'm having world's one of the worst feeling, so nostalgic, I'm home right now but in few hours I'll be leaving again, my flight back to Manila 12.55pm.

It makes me wanna cry, I didn't know why I'll never used to this kind of situation.. I'm just so afraid that everything might not be at place when I get back, everything changes, everyone grows old, time moves fast and it doesn't wait nor care, I hope you know what I mean..

I slept late, witnessed the sound of the new year, the fireworks, anything that relates it--- though I'm just in my room waiting for my eyes to shut, we don't celebrate the new year...

And I should be still sleeping right now but I couldn't, I woke up at 4:30am and I couldn't sleep back.. i feel so melancholic and sad, I had this non stop random thoughts... The thoughts of not going back to Manila even crossed my mind, good thing I wasn't raised by parents to be irresponsible and leave my task without notice, you know me well my dear diary!

wahhhh... its been so long since I wrote here (yah a month is already long enough), but because I am so desperate to ease away my unwanted insanity (hehe i can't describe it), i need to this this, I need to shout it out here..

Anyway, I'm gonna be fine! I shouldn't let the bad vibes eat me up on my first day of 2013.. no.. no... no...

This year is going to be great for me, it should be my turning point! If I should have my new year's resolution, that would be me, being a better and righteous woman,in any way!

So dear God, Yah Allah, help me please!

Would you believe me if I say I’m surviving the holidays not totally consumed by this world weariness? Was I joking on that? Hehe

I’m actually really bored, I’m thinking of something I should have done--- a tour somewhere outside the country, but I went so idle I haven’t planned that earlier, I was just thinking but never done something concrete. I never booked a flight, accommodation, not even listed possible itineraries and stuffs like that.

Or maybe I should have gone home… I should be chatting with my family by now, eating the foods I love and missed, meeting my old friends, play around with my little cousins, road tripping with my sister, giving my brothers some food tripping somewhere downtown and so on..

But I’m totally not! I’m just here in my room, just movie and food tripping, I should have gone out but I don’t know where to go, I supposed to meet a friend and might had some strolling, but unfortunately it was cancelled. What a dull life I’m having right? Hehe.. I’m not complaining, do I?

I love holidays but I hate it when I couldn’t stop myself from thinking of so my mindless thoughts.  But I won’t let it beat me… no way! hehehe 

5 things I want say to 1 person

These are the five Reasons Why I should hate you

1.      You fool around with me and I don’t deserve that!

2.      You used me to cover up your own heartaches, and you’ve change so suddenly leaving me wondering why.

3.      I saw the way you care for someone and you didn’t do a single thing of that to me… and you just let me watch it without considering my feelings.

4.      You broke a promise, it wasn’t really a promise, but what you’ve said is something I believed…. But instead you’ve done that with someone else.

5.      I hate that I couldn’t hate you that much… I shouldn’t be despising you, but I shouldn’t be disturbed with some thoughts of you either. Now you’re making me hate myself for doing this… and that’s why I hated you! 

If I am So Wonderful, then why am I still Single?

If you hate corny and mind annoying stuffs, stop reading.

I’ve been thinking of writing this so long time ago but I was afraid it might humiliate me.. (because I’m not going to hide this).

Everyone is getting married and I still couldn’t imagine myself being a bride, I never even a part of a wedding ceremony, never a bride’s maid, so I guess that’s a sign telling me I’ll grow old single--- I hate to, I don’t want to but I have a feeling that I would.

I still cling on this quote

“Women are like the apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys dont want to reach for the good ones, because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they get the apples from the ground that arent as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them when in reality they are amazing! They have to wait for the right guy to come along. The one who is brave enough to climb to the top of the tree.”

I’m 28, single, never been into a real relationship and it makes me ask this, ‘if I am so wonderful then why am I still single? And honestly, it makes me feel so unpretty! I’m trying to convince myself that I am also an apple on that peak of that tree waiting for someone I deserved, but maybe I am wrong, I’m just one of those apples on the ground hiding on the grass. I’m sorry self I’m not suppose to tolerate this pity for myself. I was a late bloomer and suddenly I’m now accelerated into facing the midlife crisis.

Maybe I over guarded my heart, now I couldn’t get out from my comfort zone. I stopped growing from that wallflower teenage girl, shy and not confident. I’m still that young girl who waits for her crush to get notice her (not doing a single move)--- but unfortunately he wouldn’t. I’m still that someone who wouldn’t go out for a date with anyone she thought she would never like—though I tried once. I’m still that girl who’s so scared to hurt someone else’s feelings. I’m still that insecure lad who would never try to beautify herself, she doesn’t know how actually.

I’m not choosy either, I’m just a hopeless romantic believing and waiting for that someone to come into my life and live happily ever after, I know I’m such a loser to believe in that… I guess he’ll never come… no one is brave enough to dare.

And I guess I would stay like this forever… but I must not be sad. Oh, I am not sad.

I must be happy no matter what.. It doesn’t mean I must have what other has. I’ll be fine… I’ll be fine…  I am fine!