Just a Post Before May Ends

"I don't wanna go home yet" -- it's a line I kept on saying these days.. ofcourse not to our real home (that is 1 and 45 hours by plane), I'm referring to my new  apartment. I don't feel comfortable there, and I tend to think so many unwanted thoughts when I'm there... so I stayed late in the office or anywhere outside.. forced my friends to meet me so I couldn't go home early.

I'm a home buddy ever since I was born but lately I don't wanna stay in our apartment..

Yesterday, I decided to fetch Margaux in her workplace.. just to make a difference and experience  a not so far getaway... add also the "effort" this friend is asking me (oo nga naman, ang tamad ko, lumayo layo naman ako sa comfort zone ko).. hehe

It's my first time to get there.. I took a bus from Ayala, went down at Robinson Galleria.. took another bus going to Ever Gotesco... I  love being on a bus...it would be okay for me to take a bus for an hour or two going anywhere then get back. But when a crowd is forming on the bus aisle, is different thing.. and a scenario like that happened yesterday, so I had a hard time getting out of the bus.. so as soon as I reached Ever Gotesco, I told myself, yey! I succeed. 

Food tripped, Videoke, movie at Gateway Mall... then it's past 11pm when we're done.. I overstayed outdoor I think.. so I slept over at Margaux's place... and had some pancakes in the morning.

On my way home, I didn't know which bus to take, so I ended up on a non-aircon bus.. it was fine, I didn't mind my hair covering my face due to the  air.. 

You know what I love doing this kind of adventure? You see different people.

I saw a man struggling to find a bus going to wherever he is going, his eagerness to go home is obvious, and  he's been waiting there like forever.

 I sat next to a less average looking woman with her daughter.. I heard the child requesting to her mom to eat at a certain resto that seems so expensive for them.. her mom says yes. Can they?

The vendor went in on the bus.. no one bought his stuff... rough day on his face.

and a lot of faces I saw.... different struggles in life maybe.. so what about this? Well, It keeps on reminding me to be grateful for everything I have.. and that everyone is facing various obstacles too...  like this saying.

That's it.

I still didn't wanna go home yet.. but I have a laundry to pick.. and send another batch.. I need to wash my uniform too.. I need to fix my closet too (which I did.. partly)... grocery too.. and.sleep!... So no matter how I hated being home nowadays, I still have to..

And one more, why I hated being in the apartment? I'm drawn to take a selfie.. and that's horrible right? Haha.. sorry for this.. (nahihiya naman akong magpost ng selfie, pero pinopost ko pa rin.haha)

 Good night!

25May15

5:37am

I'm afraid I'm being hit by my Monday Morning Sickness again... i woke up before my alarm could wake me up.. this is it.

"God, please take this odd feeling away from me, help me feel better and get through this day with self confidence, courage and with sense of purpose. Please remove this feeling that is not meant to torture me, coz I shouldn't be feeling it.."

9:55pm
It was't really perfect day .... but I thank God for this day.

Goodnight!

to whom it may concern

To the life of my life:

Yah, it's too corny of me to write stuff about you.. sorry for hating you the other day.. sometimes I think I just want someone kakampi to stand for me, though kaya ko naman! Umeechos lang ako. Hehe..

Hey, though I don't  have any idea how you looked like right now or kung nasaan ka man... this song is for you... keep on hearing it on spotify...

Now, I hope and I pray you're okay.. and you are somehow real..   Good night! Sleep well.

P.S. Para akong baliw! I know.. hehe.. tayo lang naman nakakaalam, keep my secrets with you. Haha.. I'm not making a realistic blog these days.. but I meant every words I say, minsan mukhang echos lang, bahala kana.. :)

12 Midnight!

12 midnight! I'm actually sleepy and tired too.... wala lang napagtripan ko lang yung picture ko... haha

I hope it will rain tonight!.. I just missed the rain.

Good night!

21May15

Today was supposed to be a a-bit-of-a-good-day , but someone almost ruined it... indeed it's true, words are weightless, but its impact  could bring weight to our hearts.. like when some people would assume or accuse you of something you are not or maybe you are... but you don't wanna talk about it. ..They would even speak up for you of things you don't even want to be as if they know what you really feel. But you couldn't tell them because you don't wanna appear like you're overacting....because you're not supposed to.

It was past five when I'm on my way home.. I don't wanna go home yet... my friends and I don't have plans either of meeting up... but I didn't really feel like going home yet.. I was upset... so I called and messaged them.. haha.. 

Though Marj didn't make it.. I still feel like I won it... Lee and Margaux came... haha... though they are a little late... actually so late I had finished a blog (the previous blog) while waiting for them, which I didn't have the right to complain because I've asked them out with short notice... and I should be thankful of their effort... they are always the one who came in to my place.. they have to travel a bit and experience the traffic jam and the crowd at the transport locations while I am just waiting.... they told me once, that sometimes I much exert an effort too, that I should be the one to visit them sometimes.. haha... but I refused too.. I don't wanna take the mrt at the rush hour.

Thanks to Pitch Perfect 2.... I had a good laugh.

Good night!

I hate you today my love of my life

To the Love of my Life,

I hate you now really... why there got to be you?? Or actually because there's no such thing as you.?Maybe it should be you who could calm my senses when I am mad.... but its you who actually makes me feel mad at the moment.... I'm contented with  being alone.. or being inlove with that thought that somehow I'm gonna meet you, that you're worth the wait ... despite the big chance of your fake existence..

But you know what, I don't need you.. I can live even without you.. of course I can. I didn't even think about you until these people keep on asking me stupid questions about my singleness.. I don't just pick anyone and tell them "hey, don't worry about me i found the one" .. just because I want them to stop asking me, I definitely don't wanna use anyone to cover up my unfortunate love story... I don't just say yes to anyone because I wanna forget the world being so selfish to me when it comes to my lovelife.. well, maybe I've tried once or twice?? (Getting to know other people stuff) But it didn't help. Damn that lovelife anyway! See? I don't even take effort to find you.. You're not even here  at the place where I am at now, I don't feel you here, you aren't even coming here.. but I let my self  get stuck at the wrong place because I don't really care if I couldn't find you or you couldn't find me..  so don't you ever think that because you are the love of my life (who ever you are, you fool!) then I couldn't live perfectly. Yes, you're supposed to be the one who would make me smile when the world gives me all the reasons to frown... but no thanks, I can handle this.

 I hate you more when these people think as if they know what I feel, as if they know what I should do, those people who remind me that life sucks without you. Errr.. maybe it sucks! But I'm fine with it... Those people, trying to pressure me, who instead of joining me accept what I am trying to accept, but they're not... yes, them!.. I'm blaming you for that... seriously?? No, I'm just kidding.

Don't get me wrong, don't get mad at me because I'm mad at you right now.. I'm still inlove with the thought of you somehow, in its smallest possible way, I hope you do exist (but in its realistic way, I know you're really not).... It's a fair play anyway, I'm hating myself too for doing so, I'm being so pathetic.. shame!

Some people are just too cruel to remind me that its too lonely being alone.. it's actually not, right? Could you punch their  faces for me?? Ofcourse you can't. So, for now, I'll do it my way.. and I'll tell you all about it someday, when we'll get the chance to meet.... that's after I slap your face too".

Love.

19May 15

6:38pm
At KFC glorietta.. waiting for Lee... errrr... I've been waiting for almost an hour now.. I shouldn't went out of the office if only I knew he was still at their site office while I'm on my way to Glorietta..

6:50pm
National bookstore!
My favorite part of the bookstore aside from the pen and notebook section is the kids story books or the fairy tales section.. haha.. yeah, at my age?? .. I find things cute there.. like this book that seems so adorable.

Anyway.. I bought a world map.... and a playing cards too.. haha.. what was I thinking..?  just because I think I needed to purchase something... so I picked them. When I reached the counter, the cashier asked me if I want to buy a set of school stuff that will be donated to less fortunate ... I said yes, I could afford to buy a playing card that I don't even know why I'm buying it, so why can't I buy the school supplies....?? Someone needs it, who knows, that someone will succeed in the future...

The playing cards?? Well, I bought it too.. it might save me from boredom.. haha.. I just hope I still know how to play the solitaire. Haha

7:33Pm

Finally, Lee is here.. I'm drop dead hungry.. Back to KFC!

9:30pm

Home..

10:50pm

There goes the world map in my wall.. I used to have this kind of world map too in my wall at office when I was a newbie but I removed it later on.. I'm always fond of it... I'm so much interested in different countries.. World history didn't bore me during my elementary days.. I'm good at knowing different countries' capital.. but not anymore... hehe.. that was 20 years ago, don't ask me now! 

So, who says I can't be anywhere in the world??? It's right here in my wall.. hehe

Good night!