If I am So Wonderful, then why am I still Single?

If you hate corny and mind annoying stuffs, stop reading.

I’ve been thinking of writing this so long time ago but I was afraid it might humiliate me.. (because I’m not going to hide this).

Everyone is getting married and I still couldn’t imagine myself being a bride, I never even a part of a wedding ceremony, never a bride’s maid, so I guess that’s a sign telling me I’ll grow old single--- I hate to, I don’t want to but I have a feeling that I would.

I still cling on this quote

“Women are like the apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys dont want to reach for the good ones, because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they get the apples from the ground that arent as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them when in reality they are amazing! They have to wait for the right guy to come along. The one who is brave enough to climb to the top of the tree.”

I’m 28, single, never been into a real relationship and it makes me ask this, ‘if I am so wonderful then why am I still single? And honestly, it makes me feel so unpretty! I’m trying to convince myself that I am also an apple on that peak of that tree waiting for someone I deserved, but maybe I am wrong, I’m just one of those apples on the ground hiding on the grass. I’m sorry self I’m not suppose to tolerate this pity for myself. I was a late bloomer and suddenly I’m now accelerated into facing the midlife crisis.

Maybe I over guarded my heart, now I couldn’t get out from my comfort zone. I stopped growing from that wallflower teenage girl, shy and not confident. I’m still that young girl who waits for her crush to get notice her (not doing a single move)--- but unfortunately he wouldn’t. I’m still that someone who wouldn’t go out for a date with anyone she thought she would never like—though I tried once. I’m still that girl who’s so scared to hurt someone else’s feelings. I’m still that insecure lad who would never try to beautify herself, she doesn’t know how actually.

I’m not choosy either, I’m just a hopeless romantic believing and waiting for that someone to come into my life and live happily ever after, I know I’m such a loser to believe in that… I guess he’ll never come… no one is brave enough to dare.

And I guess I would stay like this forever… but I must not be sad. Oh, I am not sad.

I must be happy no matter what.. It doesn’t mean I must have what other has. I’ll be fine… I’ll be fine…  I am fine!

Wicker Park

Whooow!.. that’s all I can say, over and over as I was watching this!.. I never thought I would appreciate this, I copied it in my officemates movie files, not because I heard or I have an idea that this movie is awesome!! I copied it thinking it might “somehow” entertain me on the weekend..

 

It’s a love story, and there were only few foreign (love stories) film that I found not boring… two thumbs up to this!

Wicker park is actually reminding me of so many local movies or novels, but this one is so effortlessly beautiful!

I’m not narrating the plot here, aside from I’m not good at that, I want you to watch for yourself. If you are a stalker (count on me there.. joke!) or being stalked, then surely you can relate on this.. hehe

And I love the songs played here—“the scientist” by cold play and “Beautiful and Stranger” by Aqualung.

The Butterfly Effect

I’ve watched so many movies recently but never had the thought of visiting my multiply and make a review or comment about them, until I’ve got to see “Butterfly Effect” and “Time Traveler’s Wife”.

Butterfly Effect, the title didn’t give me an impression of it as worth watching, saved in one of my officemates shared movies on our network while I ran out of movie choices on our break time.

After getting done of it yesterday, now I could say it was really a nice movie! I thought first it’s just a psychological problem related film, but it’s actually fictional but swear this one make sense! The main cast could travel back to his past and could change everything. He could alter his present situation if he could change something from his past.

Despite the critical failure and negative reviews it earned as what I’ve read on the internet while looking for pictures I could attach in here, still I got the message this movie wanted to portray.

In real life, I was thinking of transporting to my childhood days too and would have to choose different path, who and what would I be right now…? I was filled with “what if” thoughts and that movie just struck my mind. Sometimes I regret my past actions and I would think that my life would have been perfect “if  only” or “if only I had not”—anything from the past. But this movie is answering my life queries that no matter what you did in the past, still life wouldn’t be picture perfect. If you want to see my point, just watch the movie…

And it so coincidental that the movie I’ve seen this morning has similarity to that abovementioned one, “Time Traveler’s Wife”, from its title, you shouldn’t ask why. But the difference is, the main character couldn’t change anything from his yesterdays. And this one made me cry too, haha… yah, I’m not sure if I just wanted to cleanse my eyes that I cry in sad movies or I am really bleeding my heart out.. haha.. I’m exaggerated there!

Anyway, lesson learned? Value time coz time is gold (so new.. hehe).

That’s all!

its october 1!!!

And I've done a good job today! yey! but i bleed my head first before finding that out, that was actually simple, but we found it complicated along the way in solving that matter! haha.. and i when i learned it, what I could just say is "ganon lang pala yun??"...

anyway, i can add that to the list saying that I'm not that stupid! not at all... hahaha

that was in the morning... in the afternoon I had another maze to solve.. and i thought I was the doing the right thing in telling a certain person that's he's not doing it right... I know i got my point but it so hard for me to correct people or to tell them "this" and "that", "do this again", "no. not like that" and stuffs like that...i don't know why I would feel that way, I just don't want anyone feel wronged because of me .. if i put my shoes on them, its okay for me to be corrected, but i hate it when somebody would think that i am bragging, that i am "nagmamarunong".... Coz, honestly I am not someone who would blow her own horns just to get credits, I must admit, i hate commiting mistakes..... that's why I rarely take risks, not good I know..

Its not that I don't have a sense of authority, (actually I dont have.. haha) but I just dont want anyone hates me....  you dont have to say it, we cant please everybody! i know well.... hehe

oh my! when will I be confident???!!

so much for this..