Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Most Annoying Question

Warning!!!! For those who hate nonsense and corny post, stop reading and close this page.. trust me, you'll gonna waste your time... this is going to be a long drama and you'll end up disappointed.. :)

Lets get straight to the point --- You're not getting any younger, why are you still single? -- so thats for me the most annoying question, haha.. its not because i hardly find answer when I'm being asked but does everyone should really be in a relationship or get married when you are getting old??? Is that something you are oblige to? Is that a requirement in order to be alive??  Darn that! Haha

Anyway, once and for all, hear my side.

I would lie if ill say i never asked myself, what's wrong with me.. yeah, i did..

When i was young, i believed in fairy tales, that even if i wont do anything, my knight in shining armor (chos!) would arrive, i'll just wait.. but now losers are those who believe in fairy tales and love stories.. hehe

I never prayed for it, i never asked. My prayers are always for my family, I said, as long  as I have them, Im okay... I dont really mind being single.

And I'm totally okay!! Until these people keep on asking me that pathetic question... and because i couldn't find an answer, I just say, its my choice.... but was it really my choice??? Maybe by chance? Maybe... I dont know.

But i got their point, my family wont be there for me always... but see? Im trying to be independent here, I'm away from them.... and its fine, but it sucks too... but Im fine.

A friend asked me, am i not sad getting home and no one is there? I said, im too tired every time i reach home, so I sleep! Haha.. you think I'm lying? you think I need to include that someone into my prayers, okay i'll try... okay, i will.

Its not that i hate being inlove or maybe you are thinking that i am not normal... on my college days, I had my crushes, so i think that's normal... but i don't remember their names, just the code i tagged  them... there goes Orange, who wore orange T shirt on the first day of my Filipino subject on my 1st year,

Eclipse- my Math 51 classmate, he was asking our teacher about Ellipse, but he said Eclipse, so that's what I named him. He resembled Rukawa of slamdunk and I am inlove with Rukawa too! Haha,

Then there goes Dikya - haha, his surname sounds like that, he's a mechanical engineering then and i hated him, that one day I was upset because of him, I conquered my fear in riding the Ferris wheel during our University Fair, that was my first ride, i took it so i could scream his name like I hate you _______!!! He broke my heart! Hahaha..

 And I had a crush too on my fake bestfriend, if only he knew, if he'll read this then he'll know.. but that was long time ago, i wont mind, i could tell him but what for?? haha..

Enough for this reminscing the past, I'm running away from my topic. I'm just saying I'm still one of those typical girls... the only difference is I never exerted effort, I never make papansin (siguro medyo lang).. I never showed them that I liked them (siguro medyo lang din)... anyway, di rin naman nila ako pinansin.... haha..

Hayst, how can the the world so cruel to me, the ones i liked never liked me, and those few who liked me (oo, meron naman! Kala nyo ha! Haha), i rejected them... right away! Ayokong umasa sila saken, which was my mistake too, i never gave them a chance because I thought, if at first I never like them, I'll never will (mamaganda! Haha) But you can't blame me, guys are unpredictable and inconsistent too.. long time ago, there was this one guy expressed his feelings for me , I told him, sorry i dont feel the same way, then after few months, i heard he's getting married!! Anyway, No regrets, if they really mean it, then they should have tried harder... or maybe im not worth it? Fine! Haha

Some say, maybe i'm just too picky.. but I'm  not! I don't have standards, As long as that someone could make me laugh, God Fearing and taller than me (meron din pala) haha...I m not even superwoman to set high standards.. I'm just sooo ordinary.

Or maybe, i'm just hiding, or i just dont really care, or maybe too snob, intimidating or maybe i really looked terrible like what you see at those horror movies..Haha...,This is supposed to be a serious matter, but i'm screwing it.

Anyway, maybe I wasn't really serious, maybe I see things as jokes many times...and now these people are pressuring me... errrr....i hate you! You're not helping...Haha.. joke! Maybe this is what they call Midlife Crisis...

And for those who think that I never been truly inlove... You were wrong, I'm not even choosy because if I am, then I should not have chosen to fall to someone I'm not supposed to fall inlove with, but i did and it was not even my choice, i just felt it... i tried not to, i guarded my heart, but I end up breaking it... Maybe I should regret it but i will not, i used to, but now i wont...it hurts me but as what they've said, everybody hurts, its part of being human, no one is exempted... To that someone, wherever he is, even if he forgets and regrets about me, it's okay,  I hope he's doing fine..

There, i ve said too much...i'm exposing my personal life, its not bragging (nothing to brag about), i want the answer as well, that's why I'm writing it..So, am I answering your annoying question?? If i dont, maybe someone could help me get the answer... This post cost me my humiliation ....(no one reads this any, why bother hehe)...

And one more thing, i don't wanna jump into a relationship just because I am pressured and desperate. I'm not really that lonely about it.. or maybe Im lonely because I'm contented being lonely... haha.. ewan! But being with the wrong person and being choosy is different thing... I told you I'm not, he's not arriving yet, or maybe he's just somewhere out there, maybe he's lost, or maybe I lost him already, or maybe he's not really existing, or maybe in another life.. or maybe I'm just hard to find, (I'll be waiting, even if his stupidity in finding me would last a lifetime)... :)

So help me God.












2 comments:

  1. nabasa ko, that's where you're wrong! hahahah!

    i guess it's kind of nice that you don't really feel like you need to fall in love right now. unlike me, i'm always praying for my knight in shining armour to come along someday. haha, yeah loser me. it's depressing actually. but on the other side, being in love is such a beautiful, magical thing. no pun intended.

    by the way, you forgot to mention "you're too early for the next meeting" guy. haha!

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    Replies
    1. Haha... you remembered him?! Well, he's just one of those many I forgot to mention... haha..

      Maybe being in love is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world, but when it hurts, it truly cuts so deep.. charot! As if I'm experienced... hehe

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