29th of August

At office this morning, we had Pancake for breakfast! This symbolizes that someone will leave primea again..  This kind of routine started when Mela was transferred to other project --- then Jay R -- then Mac and this time's turn is Jardine!

I thought Jardine and I will be one of the last ones who will be left behind... but I was wrong... it's going to be really sadder than sad now at the office..  to some, Jards is one of the meanest, despicable, maarte and salbahe officemate we had.. but i never hated him, sometimes I was annoyed too.. but not too much and not too long.. I will still miss him for being one of the loud people at the office, that someone who would asks me -- what we have for breakfast... (kasi alam nyang diko naman nauubos yung food ko and I don't mind sharing it with him),.. now, who would download my favorite tv series?? Tanggapin ko na kase na tapos na ang Primea!

Yun lang... marami pa sana akong sasabihin kaso tinatamad ako.. hehe. GOOD NIGHT!

27th of August

I feel so shunga! As in tangabells today.. ahahaha.. I made a follow up letter  regarding our billings and other request for payments.. and its already transmitted when I found out (because someone told me) that I mistakenly typed the amount in words... the one I encircled in red, instead of Million, I typed Thousand... wahh! Ang tanga lang... hindi ba ako nag grade one?? Haha... I almost write letters everyday! Bakit dito pa ako nagkamali?? It was even sent to the higher management of the owner/client... and it was signed by our Project Manager and noted by our Area manager... di rin nila napansin or maybe they trusted me too much they didn't even read it.. ahahhaah!  Nakakainis!

I corrected it by putting white ink on it and just hand write it kase signed na nga sya, received na rin..kaya too late na rin,  sana wala ng ibang makapansin... haha..

And the moment I knew it, ganito yung mukha ko. Haha

Forget it! Bahala na si superman!  Haha... bawal pala to, ang magpost ng nakakastress na mga pangyayari sa office.. kaso nasulat ko na.

Sige good night!

24th of August

Define the picture above:
I want to go home straight but marj asked me to join her with her jogging trip, she's kinda desperate becoz she's becoming really big. Haha... I didn't wanna go kase tutulala lang naman ako dun.. gusto ko naman magjog minsan kahit mga 10.5 meters lang... But no one's gonna watch our things.. actually, ako yung tigwatch ng things nila... It's her 3rd time to ask me accompany her kaso tinatamad ako non kaya tinanggihan ko  sya but this time, I said yes baka magtampo na saken... sisishin pa akong di lumiit yung tyan nya dahil diko sinusuportahan.. haha...(peace madam, i love you though.. haha) anyway, she kept me waiting there, so I took pictures of the Ayala  Triangle when she's away and ofcourse our picture together..

Anyway, change topic.
Alam mo ba yung feeling when someone releases a statement about you.. pero gusto mong magdisagree  , gusto mong sabihing "di ah!".. "ofcourse not", "duh?!", or umismid... sumimangot... yung mga ganon???

Kaso di pwede! Ngingiti ka na lang.. kunwari di ka affected, kunwari dimo.narinig, kunwari deadma, kunwari "wapakels".... pero ramdam mong naghihimagsik yung damdamin mo! Alam ko medyo o.a... pero thats exactly the point, ayaw mong magmukhang o.a!!, ayaw mong magmukhang defensive, or magmukhang guilty (kasi nga baka guilty ka talaga).. lam mo yun??? Have you ever felt that?? Wala lang, baka minsan naramdaman mo rin.. (kausap ko nanaman sarili ko.. haha)

Yes, somebody made a statement today.. kaso kunwari wapakels ako sa sinabi nya.. sana naramdaman nyang wala talaga akong pakialam.. sana naconvinced ko sya.. (kahit affected naman ako haha)..  and don't ask me what the statement is all about kasi kahit sayo diko rin sasabihin.. haha...  its mababaw lang naman.. im just arte much...

And why am I saying things like these?? Kahit diko naman idedetailed?? Wala lang.. gusto ko lang magshare...diko na ielaborate,  kase hindi na importante yun, ang importante is that it won't suffocate me kase naexpress ko na... it's not being untrue, minsan may mga bagay lang na mas better tumahimik na lang dahil yun ang appropriate.. at kung dimo matiis, sulat mo na lang! kaya ayos na!! Thanks sayo, my dear diary..

Good night na! Sleep well!

23rd of August!

Since we didn't have work yesterday, I took the opportunity to watch yesterday's  Eat Bulaga Aldub's Kalye Serye  at home..  Diba nga addicted ako? Haha.. anong magagawa ko talagang affected.... I even followed these two in Instagram..

Then after watching.. I.went to Mela's place.. wala lang, makikitulog at makikikain lang..haha

Then pampered myself with lots of Mango-ong and  potato fries before going home.. and a bus ride too... plus the pabugso bugsong ulan..

Now , on my bed, listening to Bryan White's God Gave Me You.. blame aldub again.. sorry naman. Baduy lang din... I used to love this song, then got fed up then I'm loving it again..

By the way, it's the 23rd of August.. shouldn't I be doing something???!! Hayst.. Just Help me God..

Good night! Sleep well.

Attack on Titans

I've watched Attack on Titans later this afternoon all alone... speaking of alone, I'm about to enter the cinema when I got a call from Mac.. he explained himself why he was not able to join us for dinner last night, then he asked me sino kasama ko manunuod, sabi ko ako lang... then he said, I should get a boyfriend para di ako mag iisa.. he keeps on telling me that (mas marunong pa saken?? Haha), dipa rin daw kase nya matanggap na ayos lang saken na single ako, sabi ko.. diko kelangan ng boyfriend para makanuod ng movie, wala namang rules sa cinema na singles are not allowed.. kaloka!! Minsan talaga, yung mga friends mo pa magreremind sayo na it's not okay to be single, instead of believing in me that I'm okay.. haha.. pero gets ko naman sila.. sana magets din nila ako... I don't have to be desperately pick someone just to change my status,  okay nga lang ganto e!! Bahala na ang tadhana.. chos! Hehe...

Anyway, lets get back to the movie, haba kase ng intro ko.. I enjoyed it.. I was thrilled.. no dull  moments... hindi ko lang alam kung corny ba or effective yung mga pagmumukha ng titans.. medyo diko alam yung sense pero okay lang naman.. di ako nabored.. lam mo namang all types of movies bet ko, kahit pa yung mga zombies.. ehehe.

I was enjoying my popcorn when it came to that part that humans were eaten in a grossly manner.. as in ew! Haha.. pero keribells. Haha..

yun lang. Ala bang kwenta to?? Alam ko.. Haha

good night!

20th of August

Today is the first time I forgot to "time out" at work.. actually its the second time kaso nung una biometric error lang.. but this time nakalimutan ko lang talaga.. and maybe this convesation with my friend contributes to it.. ang gulo lang nito. Haha

And the worst was, I remembered it when she arrived, i wanna go back to office but she discouraged me, umuulan pa raw.. e di hindi na.. hehe.. because no excuses are allowed now, so maybe I will use my one and only precious vacation leave left.. pero baka pwede na sick leave, madami pa ako non.. or official business form na lang kung makalusot otherwise, I wont get paid.. hehe..

Anyway, goodbye to my old wallet and hello to my new one.. finally, last year ko pa gustong palitan to, I just can't find the right one..it's marj's choice, nahihilo na kase ako sa kaiikot kaya yes na pero sa totoo lang.. while I was transferring my cards and cash just a while ago, narealize kong mas gusto ko pa rin yung luma... kaso talagang torn na sya...

I feel fat!

They said, one of the frustrating statement a girl can get is that.. "tumataba ka"..  but for me, its a compliment... because I never been so mataba .. as in real mataba all my life...  minsan nagkakalaman, minsan parang zombie lang. Hehe... but one of the perks of being one is that I don't have to endure the pain of dieting.. hehe.. sarap kaya kumain..

Recently, I really feel like I'm getting  fat, sumisikip na uniforms ko, sabi rin nung boss ko na tumataba ako, and just this afternoon, somebody told me nga na nagkakalaman na ako... I'm happy about it.. but I'm having baby fats too.. haha.. shhhhh! Obvious naman.. haha! I need to work it out.. chos! Work out daw. Haha!.. oo na.. ayos na to.. wag lang somobra.. sign of aging nanaman ba.??


Switch topic. Wala ng kinalaman sa fats ko. Haha.. Today at work, feels so tahimik..  as what I'm expecting.. tatahimik na buhay ko.. wala  na masyadong kausap.. even our area manager (na mapang-asar) visits us just once week... and our project manager, mga twice to thrice a week na lang.. walang magulo. Haha..

Medyo busy minsan pero keribells lang, di na katulad dati.

And just a while ago, I was watching Aldub's today's episode.. why I'm loving it so much?? Because it eases away my boring day, and I always find myself smiling and laughing alone... kahit pa at the back of my mind naisip ko na niloloko lang nila tayo..  magfefade din sila.. iniechos lang tayo ng mga yan.. hahaha.. naku! Meet  the spoiler side of me!



Good night!

Just Goodnight!

...That moment you want to write something,  you have so many things to say but you just can't, you're not even certain to whom or where your thoughts could go far...

..but you'll just end up with this...

So, it's good night.

16th of August

7:44pm
As early as this, I feel so sleepy already, i feel a bit sick too... Could it be because I slept too late last night (this morning already)?  We watched the last full show of Mission Impossible, arrived home past  12mn... Then watched yesterday's Aldub episode.. .. I think I slept almost  3am..

The Mission Impossible.. it's nice but I think the other previous M.I movies are much great.. hehe.. or maybe because I was so sleepy in the cinema house I didn't appreciate it that much... the movie started at 10pm.. what do you expect??? Sometimes I couldn't help it but close my eyes while watching...

My company last night

9:55pm
Good night now.. Im sooo sleepy.. hope I can sleep well.. good night again.

13th of August

7:14am
Every time I leave our apartment everyday, some thoughts keep on bothering me,  I was like thinking of getting tired of this everyday routine, leave home early for work, then work, eat, then a quick stroll somewhere then home again.. I told myself, am I not getting tired of doing same thing everyday?? this is too dull.. At this age, I should be dreaming big, actually "dreaming" is not the appropriate word, but "working" for something big, something with sense, like having my own house and own car??.. Honestly, I wasn't thinking of that when I was younger.. I was both dependent and independent at the same time... yeah, it's possible.

In my hometown, I'm living in an average kind of family. We have our own house, family service, my parents have their own jobs, a small business too -- just enough resources to provide our everyday living , we aren't too rich but I never experienced starving (because I didn't have money) , never experienced requesting for promissory notes for my tuition fees and the sort ... maybe not everything, but I had what I needed most.

so, I didn't really mind striving so hard in order to live, maybe the reason why my sense of struggling so hard in earning" too much of money" wasn't developed because I didn't know how it felt to have nothing at all (maybe less but never gone zero. Hehe) and wasn't practiced to work too hard for money as well. I was contented with what I have.. and when I had my own job, I wasn't thinking of anything to save for ,  just my travels, I spend wisely naman (minsan hindi hehe) I'm not even materialistic... not even obliged to send money home (just If I want to).... I was totally fine with that.... until I reached this age!! All of a sudden I was bombarded with my own self questioning like, where was I  all this time??? why I wasn't thinking well?... why I wasn't thinking of the future?? Why am I so stuck in here?? Why do I have to live in an apartment and commute everyday??? Why did I settle for this job?? I know I 'am capable (sana) of so many things but where did my guts go?

That kind of ranting  consumed the time  I was walking from our apartment to the main road about  50 meters or more .... then I saw this homeless couple..  I actually see them everyday there... and it always breaks my heart... then my complains turned to guilt.. I was ashamed.. What gave me the right to complain about my life instead of being grateful? Glad I was reminded... I must not let my midlife crisis outsmarts  me... we wont live forever, and these earthly things will be gone as well.

8:04am
I must work now.

12:00nn

watching Aldub again.. addicted! Haha

4:40pm
Ang sakit sa mata at sa kamay tong ginagawa ko ha.. iniechos ko lang naman.. uuwi nako! But I'm still waiting for Margaux's message, she said this morning that they will jog at Ayala triangle this afternoon.. will I go?? But I think it will rain.. and pupusta akong di sila matutuloy.. haha.. syempre Negative ako... anong pusta??

Anyway, I was reading back my  blog above.. ang gulo pala.. diko magets ahaha.. I'll edit it na lang later.. mga nakaw na oras lang kase kaya mali mali.. I was blogging while working.. hehe

7:10pm
Home!

8:09pm
Done watching this afternoon's Aldub's Kalyeserye, dami kong tawa.. It completes my day really.. haha..

Alden to yaya dub:" Aldub you."
Yaya dub: "MaAlden kita ."

haha! Corny ba?? Hayaan nyo na ako.. lam mo kase, crush ko na si alden before pa nagkaron ng Aldub... sya lang ata yung Filipino Male actor na crush ko! Haha.. because I'm into Korean or Japanese characters.. pati anime characters. Haha.. ew me!


8:19pm
I won!! Haha.. para akong tanga.., I've been so emo this morning, and now I'm being like this.

9:45pm
Mooncake! But I wasn't sure if its okay pa, because it's been on the ref since last week... my friends gave it to me as birthday cake, pampaswerte daw. Haha.. and a milk that was on the ref too since months ago. Two days maeexpire na sya! I bought it because I need to drink milk kaso ayaw ko nga talaga ng gatas kaya tumagal sya sa ref.. pero Good job to me, nainom kana.. haha

11:00pm
Good night!

Centertage!

 Not done with my birthday echoses yet?? Hehe.. Glad these people still managed to come though they are in other projects already, except for rose..
 Glad Lee (na medyo bongga yung tampo ko) and Jay R made it this time, wala kase sila last thursday... kase kung hindi, tuluyan na akong magdaramdam sa kanila.. haha.. at di na ako magpapakita pa. chos lang! minsan na nga lang kami magkita kita eh dipa nila ako mapagbigyan??! Wahaha..syempre O.A lang...



Good night!

9th of August 2015

Today is my birthday and honestly, I feel like:

(Photo not mine)

And  these people seems to tell me:

(Photo not mine)

But there goes this post on Instagram... just today!  And it hits me... and seems like its for me.. so I'm guilty.

Anyway... though I dont wanna celebrate my birthday, what can I do when I have these people who made my August special than my usual days?

Because my birthday falls on Sunday, my friends surprised me last August 6 with this... 

As what they've asked me, nasurprised nga ba ako?? It doesn't matter.. what matters is their intention of surprising me.. hehe


At the office last August 7. It supposed to be yesterday, but I had an appointment in our head office..

Today. Because it's Sunday, instead of staying home, watch AlDub videos (haha) and sleep all day in my apartment... I spent it with my friend and her room mate.. I asked her to cook for me.. (teh, thanks for the delicious chicken and spaghetti. And thanks for not letting me washed the dishes.  Nyahaha.. minsan, ako na maghuhugas, mapilit ka kase. Ahaha).

Timezone!

Margaux and Lorrain.. Thanks!

And to all of those who texted me and greeted me thru facebook, THANK YOU SO MUCH!  It's nice to be remembered.. you made me feel that it's my birthday, you turned my supposed-to- be -bittersweet-day not so bitter.. hehe..

And before this day ends.. I thank God for the gift of life...

Here's yours truly, accepting the fact that I'm getting old. Haha..  and it's okay.. and will eat this cake they gave me the other day, di pa ba expired to? :)

Good night!

7Aug15

Parang maganda ako dito??  Haha.. joke lang. Feeling ko lang naman.. wag ka ng kokontra! Wala kang karapatan..  pabebe?? Haha.. sorey!

 sabi ko kanina magsusulat ako kaso ngayon inaantok na ako... magkkwento sana ako. Kaso late na. Wala nanamang kwenta ang post na to..patawad.. Hehe.. Good night.

3rd of August

Aside from my Monday morning sickness , a sad news just broke my heart. My sister was calling me office hours a while ago and I'm not used to that.. when I picked the phone, I knew something went wrong, and I was right, our Grandmother just passed away she said...  I felt emotionless at that moment... but when I put the phone down, I felt uneasy, I told myself not to cry, not at that very moment,  I can't let these people worry about me... but suddenly my vision went blurred by the tears I was trying to hold, my throat hurts, and there goes my tears.. I cried discreetly.. I tried so hard no one will see.. and yes, maybe they don't mind too but Mac joined me for lunch, and there I couldn't help it when he asked me if I was okay, I told him that my Grandma just passed away, then I was crying again... I was trying to laugh while I was crying because I don't want him to worry about me, it's okay --I keep on telling him, worry not about me... I'm just sad at the moment but it's okay.

Somehow, I feel relieved by telling that to him (I failed in stopping my tears)... It's too hard enduring life's painful moments all by yourself.. I maybe trying to be one tough girl, but I'm really not.. I know how to face sadness but I guess it's true that no man is an island.

This is one of the things I fear about not being home, we missed a lot of things.. I feared that the next time I went home, things will be different...and now it's happening...

When I get home, I wont be seeing her anymore in the balcony of her house (where I used to see her) watching over my little cousins, or get into our house bringing us fruits, .... I wont be hugging her everytime I leave home (the last  time I embraced her almost two weeks ago was the tightest I got from her and she said that we should forgive one another--yes it's as if she knew this will happen) ... I wont be hearing her old stories and experiences, and I wont be hearing her again asking me to find a good man (hehe)...

I'm not really a granny's girl.. the fact is, my siblings and my cousins were afraid of her because she was the strict type... I remember when she was younger... everytime she visits us, we are actually hiding from her...

She loves fruits, she had lots of that on her farm, even in our compound, she planted different kind of fruit trees ... she will scold us everytime she caught us climbing and picking the fruits when its not yet ripe.... Sometimes, I want to eat green mangoes (not yet ripe), we're like stealing on our own yard (haha).. But when it's harvest time, she's so generous...like she was so excited to distribute the ripe fruits to us.. No matter what, we'll gonna miss her for that.

I feel sad about the things and the people my grandma left... i worry about my father the most... will he be okay?? I know he'll try to, but I know he's not.. not at this point of time..

As for me, I will be fine, I'm saddest at the moment not because I lost a grandmother but because my father lost his mother, I know he's really sad now.. I hope he will be okay.

We must all be okay.. because life's like that... everyone will soon be gone... her time has come, we  must be thankful that she reached this far.. and someday all of us will join her too..

For my grandmother,  May The Almighty Allah grants her paradise, may she be reunited with our grandfather, and with my aunt too.
                           --------------------------


"INNALILAHI WA INNA ILAYHI RAJIOON"
" To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return." (Quran Surat Al Baqarah 2:156)
"Every soul shall have a taste of death, then to us you will be ultimately returned." (Quran Surat Al Ankaboot 29:57) --c/o The Islamic Bulletin

The Creepy Moon on the Second of August

I've been sitting on a chair in my room staring at this bright, creepy yet beautiful moon through the window... then I remember those old days when old people say that when you stare at the moon for a long time, you'll go crazy! Was that true? Coz, if so then I must be crazy now...

Or maybe I'am close to being that by taking this creepy selfie too... haha! Sorry. 

Good night!

First Day of August

Hello my bittersweet August!

I couldn't think of sensible thoughts to say, it's just that I don't wanna sleep yet.. I'm still doing the music tripping to calm my senses.. and while doing that, maybe I could write how did my ordinary day turns out..

Just consumed my day working... and watched clips of this trending couple, Alden Richards and Yaya Dub.. hehe... I'm hooked too, I'm enjoying watching them...

Undecided where to go after work, so I went straight to Robinson, I bought Black Forest Cake... I was thinking of making my August special each day.... so I will be able to forget that this month is breaking my heart...

Now playing on my list, Fix you by coldplay.. yep, obviously I'm a coldplay lover... I feel their songs..

Wait, isn't it  Blue Moon tonight?? Was it true??

Never mind, I think I'm sleepy na... Maybe I could say my good night na!