QSD FINALE

I just finished watching one of my favorite Korean TV series QSD, and as expected, the ending is really tragic..  This is the first series that made me cry for a couple of times, and I guess it also contributes to my mild sickness right now.. Yeah, absurd but true.. It truly plays a strong impact on me I even wanted to curse the writer for creating such… though it was based on the history of Korea.

One of the two major characters, Queen Seon Deok and Bidam died at the end, without clearing oneself. Bidam was deceived by his ambitious followers, they came up with a ploy, and "that" hurt him so much. His trust to the Queen became blurry, he was doublful and soon he was blinded by it. Actually the story portrayed the essence of trust. Though the Queen kept on saying that she trusted Bidam, still, that wasn’t easy for her too since Bidam is the son of the late Lady Mishil—QSD’s rival. And Bidam was aware of that, not to mention he was once a daunting specimen.  

Bidam was slaughtered in front of QSD by his used to be comrades before….He’s last word was QSD’s name. Bidam was the only man who still calls QSD by her ordinary name instead of “Majesty” , since calling her by her name is now prohibited since a Queen has no name. ..

When Bidam’s body touched the ground, QSD collapsed as well.. and not so long, she also passed away.

Well, I can’t detail everything… all I know is, I’m still hurting… (lol)

Thoughts in Random

The hardest crisis in life is knowing that you don't know what you really want in life... when confusing thoughts strike you, you feel like you're about to break your sanity.. you just want to disappear and wish you know what to do the moment you get back in reality..

Everything is not easy, once you get something you thought would make you  happy but ends up still unsatisfied, you feel so oblivious. Random thoughts will drown you unless you resist.

You wished somebody must save you, you wait but end up in vain. The truth is, you're the only one to resolve this, to pick up the broken pieces of your life. Got no choice but stand again, face the world and have no option but  live... whether in miserable or glorious way....

 Life's quest for its sense is never ending until the very last drop of your breath....

SUPER KALAN

just a while ago, we bought a super kalan since my brother and I are spending so much money in our daily meals... as in sobrang magastos.. But the danger that may cause by this "super kalan" scares me to death, para bang it might explode anytime.. I even imagine my self being flared up!!1 o, wag naman...

Anyway, magluluto nga ba kami??? Dapat lang.. and we chose to buy it instead the real stove kasi we dont know naman if we'll stay here for long, surely we're not... everything is only temporary...

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

What I’m about to do reminds me of my childhood unforgettable movie, Hariet Spy.

This is about the people who work in my new found company..

Lets start with the Project Manager, Engr. Frizan, who seemed to be very serious when he interviewed me.. Well, in his case first impressions don’t last…. He’s such a jokey and teasing person. Ang kulit nga e…  But at the same time, he’s very strict in terms of our accomplishments and time management.

Then my immediate supervisor, Maam. M, our cost engineer, she’s very light and considerate. I hope she won’t change. And our PM kept on joking her about her being still single, as in No boyfriend at the age of 29….

My seatmate, Maam L., a civil engineer, who’s actually my senior as well… she’s kind but strict. She’s approachable naman, kaya nga lang, I cant understand her sometimes…. The way she teaches me … or maybe she can’t understand my point as well. (lol)… she’s a little pikon and mataray sometimes, you would mistaken her an old maid sa katarayan, but actually she’s not… she’s only 30, married, with two kids.

The chubby girl, Ms. T, an architect, I found her really friendly. She’s giving me advices and some information about the company, as well as the characteristic of those people who also worked there… (parang tsismis na rin..lol)

The charming girl, Ms. N, is sweet and polite. She’s an architect and also serves as our project secretary.

The irritating petit girl, Ms. A, naalibadbaran ako sa ingay nya!...  kulang ata sa pansin… her height and the way she makes noise is indirectly proportional.. (lol, peace!)

The immediate supervisor of these young architects, Maam AN—I think she’s choosy and a lil boastful.. But there were times, I saw kindness in her words…. Pero very often, parang once lang..  (lol)…

The super down to earth, Company president daughter, Maam LL. I thought she’s just an ordinary girl until they told me of her position.  She’s only 28, an architect, and she’s being trained as Project Manager of an International Museum project, but at  the moment dun muna sila sa project site. She’s very silent and so simple, a black beauty.

Ang isa pang maingay, Ms. T2… but unlike Ms. A, di naman ako naiirita sa kanya.

The boys---- sa dami  nila, diko pa sila kilala lahat.. And wala akong first impression sa kanila… They outnumbered us, that’s why, giving impressions to them is confusing and time consuming.. (lol)

Anyway, those are just my first impressions… I’ve got a long way to know them better…

 

10/25/2010

So, it’s more that three months had passed since I wrote this. So, asking me if first impression lasts? Well, not really, especially to the case of  Maam AN, she’s actually not that  boastful, it’s just her way, and she’s actually uhm fine…

But Ms. T resigned. Main reason is because of  Maam AN, they had  this conflict unresolved, dati pa naman diba? Kaso this time, it went worse. .. Don’t want to detail everything, but I am sure that both of them are responsible, di talaga sila nagkeclick!

And I am no longer irritated with Ms. A, maingay lang talaga sya.

Finally, the boys, still got no comment on that but at least I know all their names now.. ;)

That’s all folks!

 

DISCOVERY PRIMEA

this is our project that will rise soon here.........

I HAD THE BEST PARENTS IN THE WORLD..... WALA PA AKONG SINASABI RAMDAM NA NILA ANG GUSTONG KONG SABIHIN.... GRATEFUL, I HAD THEM....

greatest goal

asking me what my great goal is???? or how would I be truly happy??

Aside from my childhood and until now next to impossible dream..... I would love to travel around the world... to see beautiful scenery... to know the life out there.... to explore new things....

but this one would truly fulfill my living..... A pilgrimage to Mecca with my family, especially my umi and aya.... kinda possible, I need a move!

A PRAYER

I am not perfect.. I know and I admit my faults....

this I pray

"GOD, GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN;
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE"

I miss home

I miss home extremely everytime I wake up so early, that's since I started working.. Sometimes random thoughts throbbing my mind... that I wish I never got here to where I am.. that I should be spending my life with my family... that I hate it here... that life is comfortable, simple, at home.. that as time runs, some things change too... and I'm missing something as well.

Walking towards our project site early in the morning makes me feel dull. Skyscrapers seem to mock at me, telling me..."you dont belong here, go home!"

Instead seeing the wide entrance of this buildings I will see the red steel gate of our house. Seeing my family, that's what I wished to happen at that moment... But no, the reality is I am here, soul searching, having my fortune quest...

Anyway, I just felt that this morning.. yesterday... the previous day... and the following day I guess.. But while writing this. I am fine... I just cant explain my inconsistency... But I suppose that's normal... whos not missing their home????

itutulog na lang

kung ang mga bagay bagay ay hindi nagbebehave, gaya ng cellphone na lagi na lang nag-ooff ng kusa... laptop na may topak... broadband na mas mabilis pa ang pagong.... oras na masyadong nagmamadali.... sarap nilang durugin... pero talo ako pag ginawa ko ... mabuti pa'y MATULOG NA LANG...  (good night k.n.g)

first day high.. haha

woke up early so I wont get late, but I was still late on my first day. Long story, wrong jeepney ang nasakyan ko.

Well, it was fine. Yes, I felt alienated but I was welcomed fairly.. And they are actually expecting me, opposite to what I had expected. nakatiming pa ako sa meeting which is held every Monday ata, I had myself introduced... errrr.

I got really tired that day.. siguro kasi di pa ako nakakapag-adjust...

anyway, I wish to write more about my new job, kaso I
m sleepy and tired na...

The agony of "FIRST DAY IN A NEW JOB" symptom

7:32pm 7/10/2010                                                                                                                                                                           

This Monday will be my first day in a new job and I wonder how things would take into place. My new company is rated triple A general building construction. It’s a big company with big and multi million projects. One of their projects includes this towering building One Rockwell, commercial establishments like Greenbelt 5, and also the ABS CBN building. And now, I am based at their on going project at Ayala, Makati, the Discovery Primea, a 67 storey condo.

Working relationship with the other employees is very much important to me, it plays a big role in attaining a fulfilling job. Now, I lure on the thoughts on how these people of DATEM would welcome me. In my previous job, I was lucky enough to have a good co-workers who happened to be my team mate.. They were all great not to mention ---never mind.

I had a view of their office site-- where in I will also be assigned, when I had the final interview with the project manager. As expected, men outnumbered women, I guess I saw about 3 or 4 girls only. Everybody seemed to be very busy with their assigned task, and nobody care of my existence except the receptionist who mistaken me first as practicumer. Well, how would I take that, compliment because I still look young, or an indirect criticism because I don’t looked like a real engineer?… huh!

Oh, my! Monday is about to slap my face! I taste the feeling of excitement and tenseness…. I’m becoming paranoid now, imagining my self invincible as soon as I step into their office. Would they even say hi to me? Or should I count raising eyebrows? Or will I just stay unnoticed with my big eyes and long fingers…hahahah… just like aliens…

Whatever! Whatever! And another whatever!... I will be fine.. I will be nice so they will be nice to me as well… but if they won’t, then I must not care! If they’ll throw me pebbles… then I’ll throw them back boulders!!! … just kidding, I’m just comforting my self.. hahaha                               

Anyway, why do I care about these people and not on the nature of job itself??? Yes, after all, that’s the main dish.

So, wish me luck………………..

QSD

last night episode of Queen SEon Deok is truly enthralling.. I fell inlove again with Bidam.. I even sympathized with the villain Lady Mishil who happened to be Bidam's mother, naintidihan ko na rin kung bakit ganon sya ka-eager maging Reyna ng Sillah, she had sacrificed a lot for Sillah. She even abandoned Bidam for her ambition.

And even Seon Deok realized that, she saw in Mishil's visage the ability of a Queen or Babaeng Hari. Thats despite everything, Seon Deok wants her kahit nagtraydor ito. But Mishil answered her "Ang minamahal, hindi maaaring hatiin at ipamigay sa iba" (she referred to Sillah).

Ngayon, si Bidam ang kawawa.. he's torn between two significant people in his life... ang minamahal nyang si Prinsesa Deok Man at ang inang kinamumuhian, si Lady Mishil. Pero last night, I saw in Bidam's eyes the sympathy to his own mother....

11:24pm, July 9, 2010

Tonight’s episode of QSD is somewhat a turning point of the story. It could end that way, at sana ganon na lang, pero hindi pa ito ang wakas.

I can say that tonight is also the painful and very interesting episode.. so far.. It is so agonizing naiyak ako.

The King—deok man’s father, and lady Mishil died tonight.

 Lady Mishil ended her life by poisoning herself. Before she did it, she looked back at the song they used to sing when they are battling. “Kung kaya mo pang lumaban, lumaban ka ng taos puso. Kung di mo na kayang lumaban, magtanggol ka. Kung di mo kayang magtanggol, umatras ka. Kung di mo kayang umatras, sumuko ka. Kung di mo kayang sumuko, iyon na ang takdang panahon, ang panahon ng iyong kamatayan”.

Bidam was the last person Mishil talked with. And that was a very sad encounter. From Mishil last minute, she was still very concern of Silla, and she didn’t show any affection or emotion to her son. Bidam cried, and seeing him in that state breaks my heart too. He was so distressed seeing his own mother in that condition, kahit pa kinamumuhian nya ito. “Ano, sa huling pagkakataon, tatawagain na ba kitang ina?, he cried. According to Mishil, mahal nya ang buong Silla, higit pa sa pagmamahal sa kanyang anak, dahil wala syang alam don. She even told Bidam na wag na syang kilalaning ina, at wag na rin syang patawarin.

She told Bidam that they’re different. Bidam wants Silla because of a person, and that’s Seon deok, and loving a person is useless and dangerous,  while Mishil, took care her allies and the” maharlika” because that’s her way to get Silla.  And Bidam answered her na magmamahal nga sya, he wants Silla dahil yun ang gusto ng mahal nya.

But I think, Bidam contributed to Mishil’s decision of putting an end to her life, to her battle against Seon Deok. She even controlled her self from wanting to embrace her son the last moment they talked before that death scene.

Actually, Deok Man is the person Mishil wanted to have her last words with, but unfortunately, the princess didn’t make it on time. Inabutan na lang ni nya ang maganda ngunit wala ng buhay na tagapag-ingat with Bidam crying at her side. Nasabi na lang nya sa sarili habang di mapigilan ang umaagos nyang luha, “salamat Mishil, kung hindi dahil sayo, hindi ko mararating ang ganito”. I’m just wondering kung ano sana ang sasabihin ni Mishil sa kanyang mahigpit na katunggali.

Finally, Deok Man knew the truth. She forced Bidam to tell her who was really Mishil to his life. And why did he lie to her. According to Bidam, how can he say publicly that Mishil is his mother when she’s not even acknowledging him as her son?

Bidam explained that he didn’t want Seon deok to lose her trust to him…

Anyway, inaantok na ako…

CALL CENTER TRY OUTS

I imagined working in a Call Center industries but never tried harder, maybe because I don’t wanna give up on my profession. I still need to learn more about how engineering really works.

But on the other hand, I didn’t take aside the perks of working in a Call Center, that’s why I tried applying.

From myriad companies, I first tried at SYKES which is located at 34th floor of Burgundy building in Makati.  I had a preliminary interview which I believed I’ve done well. But when the HR representative asked me if I am willing to be assigned at their branch at Ortigas, I said, I will think about it first. Then she told me to give her a call if I’ll make up my mind.

If I will try working in a graveyard shift, then I would prefer working in Makati since it’s the nearest and safest part of Metro Manila.

Then my quest didn’t end there. I participated in Metro Job Fair at SM Megamall. As expected, Call Center related companies are flooding in there.

Here is the funniest interview I ever had. A girl approached me asking me to try applying in their company CONVERGYS, that’s a One day hiring process-- which is common to call centers, you’ll know whether you’re hired or junked at the end of the day. So, I tried my luck. That’s actually a very short interview, a little something about your self, a paragraph to read and a story to make out of a picture. I had created a very non sense story that I would even junk myself for that, I even stuttered many times, I lost words. As expected, I didn’t make it.

 A piece of advice, if you plan to apply in a call center, practice your speech, answer possible interview questions, do a lot of oral readings, and review your English grammar. In that way, you’ll be confident. Don’t do the same thing, I tried my luck unequipped, not to mention that I was once an engineering student who's not into public speaking.

So you think I had stopped trying? I did not. At the same day, I submitted my resume to other companies, very few engineering related firms. Well, let’s focus only to call center issues. I had a very quick interview at KGB and will only call me for a real battle. I had my name listed to SUTHERLAND, no interview yet. And I submitted my resume to PLDT which gave me a schedule of interview.

After almost a week, I attended the interview PLDT scheduled me there at Mandaluyong office. I passed their exam, and the two sets of interview. Then I was referred to my preferred location, PLDT Ventus at Makati for Eco Screening. Afraid that I might be hired, I didn’t grace my presence there at Makati Office (lol)....as if.

So that’s it… It ends there.

a step to give up a dream

9:02PM July 6, 2010

After accepting a job offer yesterday from DATEM, I was called by AL ABBAR ALUMINUM PHILIPPINES. I had asked the caller to remind me as how my application reached them coz I don’t remember at all. He said, I’ve send it through email dated May 23, that’s a lil too long ago right? So don’t blame me I forgot.(of course, I am not that bad to voice it out)   

So, this representative of Al Abbar discussed a lil background of the company, and the position is Dubai based, their main office. Gosh, Dubai!! How I would love to be there. I even told my self that if I would be offered a job from that country (I don’t care about recession lol) I would grab it without hesitation. But now, why do I feel like giving up the possible first step landing into my ideal country?? Whuah.....

So this guy over the phone asked my interest of that likely job offer, of course, it wasn’t sure yet, I need to undergo screening and so on. Then I found my self telling that caller that I had already accepted an offer from other company, that I am glad they consider my application, that maybe sometime I will visit their office, or maybe someday I’ll change my mind. Then he said, okay, just give us a call if you’ll change your mind, then he hanged up.

Now what???....Maybe not now, I want to be part of DATEM first.

(Interruption: Armageddon is on studio 23 right now, the farewell scene between the father and daughter still makes me cry)

Di ko na macontain.... I LOVE YOU BIDAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

one point for EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

The moment I got unemployed, I never missed buying Manila Bulletin’s Sunday issue---classified ads is about 80 percent of that news paper every Sunday. But to my dismay, none of the postings caught my interest, even my qualifications.. As in zero, that happened for the first time.

So my only hope for this week is my interview the following day, Monday..

Grateful, I was hired.

july 5, 2010

8:25am. I am heading to my 9am scheduled interview at Datem’s project Discovery Primea in Ayala Aveune, Makati City. Thanks to Google map, I knew where to go. And the very place is not that far from my previous company, only that I go left after reaching the intersection of Makati Avenue and Ayala Avenue (that’s going EDSA where my x-job, to the right, going Gil Puyat).

The only problem is, I don’t know which jeepney that would go that way or if there will be one. So same routine, I took the jeepney that I used to ride when I had my job , but I just asked the driver to drop me at the intersection of the two main avenues (loading and unloading in the Ayala avenue is very strict).

Five minutes before 9am when my feet brought me to Ayala Av proper. Oh no.I’m going to be late!! I guess, the exact location of the project site from the intersection of Ayala and Makati Avenue is approximately 80 meters but due to crossing through underpass and another underpass and another underpass again, quadrupled the distance!! Looking for their entrance was also time consuming. 9:15 was the exact time I got to their office. Good thing, the project manager wasn’t there when I arrived. After 10 minutes of waiting, I had the interview.

The next thing I knew is I am hired!!!( If they wont change their mind). Then the project manager instructed me to go back to their head office at Mindanao Avenue, Quezon City. And finally I found the easiest and most accessible way, not a single underpass I went through.

I didn’t go straight to their main Office at Mindanao Avenue, instead I went back to my apartment just to get my beloved umbrella. Yes, you read it right, just for my umbrella I purchased for only 50 pesos when I got stranded at Guadalupe one day due to heavy rain. That umbrella had saved me many times from the heat of the sun there in Quezon City. I think that way from Mindanao Avenue to Tandang Sora, QC is next to a desert.

I reached Trinoma mall (the establishment that will welcome you from MRT’s last station North Avenue) at about 11:30 am. I ate my lunch first at KFC, finally I tasted Rod BBQ chicken (hindi naman pala masarap!).

After eating, I went straight to Power Books,  just to kill the time while offices are having their Lunch breaks. That bookstore is my favorite spot in every mall, I can read and freely scan books there without buying (lol).

After an hour, I left Trinoma mall, and that time my umbrella saved me from the rain.. (I love you payong!).

 Human Resources Department of DATEM is at 5^th floor  and I met an applicant when I got there. We had a small talk before the HR representative discussed me of the nature and the requirements needed for this employment. Anyway, I wished that applicant I talked with will be hired too. It’s a wonderful thing when you’re not the only newbie in a company to avoid being out of placed. ;)

Then I rushed home. I hope my medical exam won’t let my down. Oh, I hate needles!

GLOBE TATTOO

For those who plan to buy globe tattoo broadband, better think twice..  this is my stats... halos zero kbps...

july 4, 2010

Today's Manila Bulletin Issue has very few advertisement about my profession or something I can be qualified, exclude overseas.. As in,  kahit isa man lang... ilang MB na nabili ko, nagyon lang nangyari ang ganito.. minamalas na nga talaga ako... punishment ba to??? kasi I'm being picky??? (sigh)

maybe, this is the very reason why I dont feel like buying today's edition sana... kaso nga baka magsisisi ako, kaya I asked my brother this morning to buy me one...  pero wala naman palang kwenta...

tama na... sobra sobra ng palugit binigay ko sa engineering related job.. I must venture na in call center industries.. I started na last week, two weeks ago pala, kaso di ko matodo todo since I want an engineering job...puros hanging application ko sa kanila kasi nga my hinihintay.. malay ko bang waiting in vain lang yata ako..

 I have my interview tomorrow in DATEM- a general construction company, pero pinanghihinaan ata ako ng loob... naubusan na ata ako ng pag-asa. I dont even remember the name of the Project Manager of the project na syang hahanapin ko bukas... maybe it's a sign.. rejected again.. oooppps.... nega no!!!

whatever..

wish me luck kong my luck pa...