Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012

Honestly , 2011 didn’t make a big blast on me, it was fine, neutral and a bit dull. It was the year I found myself working not because I was satisfied and enjoying it but because people need to work. I’m not complaining with my kind of job, as a matter of fact the  reason why I’m still here is because I’ve got no problem with it (but I don’t find fulfillment on it either).

So, how was my 2011?

This was the year, I thought I’ve come up with a decision, that’s venturing abroad, I was planning of submitting my resignation letter this January 2012 but I went hesitant again. So, there’s no resignation letter till at this very point of time.

This year, my mom and I supposed to have an out of the country trip----but for some reasons. We didn’t make it.

This year, I’ve got myself involved in a silly deal, I have fallen for someone, and I broke my heart too.... haha.. gross right?

Same year, where I first tasted an alcoholic drink... sssshhhh.. just to cut my curiousity why people are addicted to it (after 26 years!), and i dont think I'm gonna have a shot of it again, aside from its forbidden, i don't see myself liking it either.

I found new friends in my workplace; unfortunately they resigned this year as well.

This year, I’m starting to get matured, I’m realizing my dreams (you know I’m a late bloomer) but I’m still working out being confident.

So, that’s it, goodbye 2011..

Hello 2012! New Year’s resolution? Let me check first the progress of my 2011 resolutions.

Anyway, I’m hoping to finally fix my mind. Go abroad, if not earlier this year then maybe on middle or on the quarter.

I want a new life……

HAPPY NEW YEAr!!!

December 2011 at home

This is how I spent my 1 week vacation home. I was thinking actually of having an out of the country trip this December, but I was interrupted of the idea of going abroad (for work) earlier this 2012, so instead of a getaway, I   chose home instead (though my plan of going abroad early this 2012 is cancelled to an uncertain date).

Dec.25

Flight home. No way I’m gonna take the last seat on an airplane ever again! I was so ill at ease right there.

My first pic at home, no, actually this was in our shop. I looked scary right? hehe

Dec. 26

We went to the province, Midsayap, North Cotabato with some of my family members to have a kanduli. We held it on our some sorta Bahay Kubo, near the ruins of my grandparents house. Had poses here from that ruins of the old wrecked house.

Dec. 27

My mom and I went to Davao City. I still have my motion sickness. My mom had her check up and a little shopping as well. We visited People’s Park, it so crowded and not as beautiful as the first time I went there in 2009.

Dec. 28

Still in Davao City, still shopping but unfortunately I wasn’t able to have some breath of air there in Abreeza Mall-- the controversial newly open shopping center in Davao.

Dec. 29

Met old friends—Jegs, Kuya Jun, Kuya Bo, Kuya Dot and Khalid, when I saw them, I’ve realized that I missed them and college life as well.

Dec. 30

Jollibee treat for my aunts, siblings and my cousins. Stroll around downtown with my mom. Food tripping—Pastil, Mango Float, Fried chicken. Buco Salad, mango with Bagoong, Durian and shrimps for Dinner… burp.

Dec. 31
where was I? just family bonding I guess. hehe... picture tripping at home


Jan. 1, 2012
Took pictures before leaving home and on my way to Awang airport.
so, these are my first pictures for 2012




7:01 PM
now I'm here in my boarding house again, I had a delayed flight, someone in the airport annoyed me almost but I didn't let her, not on the first day of new year.

So no matter, how my heart breaks leaving home again, i need to feel fine because today is january 1, 2012.. I can't start it feeling disgusted.. hehe..

I DON'T WANNA GO BACK THERE

When I was in college and had enrolled in a 4hour drive away from home University where I usually went home every semestral break only, I used to feel like I don’t wanna go back there (in that University) after about two weeks vacation.

Same thing when I had my first job, also miles away from home, I dreaded that feeling of packing my things because I need to get back to work.

And now, I feel like saying this line again, “I don’t wanna go back there”.. I’m referring to Manila, where my current job is. But this time only 1.45 hours away, yeah, almost two hours by plane… errr.! And I miss home already.. I can’t get enough of it especially when I am being torn of two houses—our real home and our shop, my siblings on the former and my parents on the latter.

Bad. I don’t wanna go back there… but I must. 

Primea's Xmas Party

we had our Xmas party todayand I had these gifts.

An Organizer/Planner and a headset, I received these in our office exchange Gift, Mang Frank, one of our worker, happened to pick Sarah Wayne Callies--that's my code!


Architect Anna gave me this shirt.


Engr. Waldo is the one responsible for this, a fake passport (Princess Passport), he said the moment he saw this one, he remembered me.. hahaha..so he bought it for me, its actually just a mini note book.. they actually calling me a princess there in the office, i dont know they're just tripping, I'm always telling them that I'm not a princess, they just wanna believe I am. haha


12/23/2011
A bench shirt from our Project Manager

And yes I dont celebrate Christmas... But I wanna say THANKS to them.

Jan. 2, 2012

I reached my table at office with these stuffs, Mam may and mam Leneth gave me those.

DATEM goes decade (2011 Xmas Party)

  Tomorrow will be Datem’s Christmas Party and what I’m about to tell you here is regardingt our Dance competition. You heard my whines last year about the hard times I went through during the practice. I’m not a good dancer! Haha..

But this time, I’m doing better, they even named me the, “the most improved dancer of the year” hahaha.

But you know what, we are not that confident as last year. I could say, our performance and presentation in year 2010 was a way better (that resulted a bitter reaction to some when we ranked just 3^rd).

In 2009, Primea Team got the 1^st place. Maybe, the other project managers in other project sites are right in saying that we couldn’t get any award this time since Jeaneatte (she’s in Oregon, USA now) is no longer part of our team.

I admit, cooperation is lacking in our team now. Even our own Project Manager told us this afternoon that this is the first time he felt nervous (oo, kinakarir namin to! Hehe).

The Practice

That’s it. I’ll update you.

12/23/2011

I almost forgot to update this.. hey, we won it!

The Finale

Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I feel troubled, annoyed, irritated, disturbed, puzzled and crazy! I don’t know, I just hate this feeling…

I hate people who’s being insensitive, who criticize you and pull you down, who are supposed to be helping you because you work in one team but they’re not instead.

I hate people who never admit their mistakes that as if they are always right.

I hate me learning how to curse in the wind, though not heard by anyone, I know it wasn’t right, I’m not that kind, I’m starting to believe that bad habit is contagious, and I must strengthen my sense of resistance.

I think I’m sick but I don’t want to go to a doctor, I’m afraid they’ll tell me that I’m dying so soon. And I hate that I’m afraid, coz it wouldn’t make any difference whether I knew or not.

I’m not someone who is excellent in leading a team, I’m no good of so many things, I maybe inexistent to some, I may be stupid, I maybe someone who would not wanted by anyone… but I am someone who will never brag for something I must not blow my horn of, I will admit my mistake, I will do what I can do for the betterment of something, I’ll try to be good and do the right thing if I can’t make the smart one.

And I am confusing you now, I am either.

I feel bad really right now.

It seems that there’s no way to release myself from this anxiety, if only I could run away, disappear, just be gone for a while, then I will.

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. Sleep might be the only resort.

Zzzzzzzzzz..

12/10/2011

O my dear diary, today is an exception to those days I was glad that you couldn’t complain against my rants and negative thoughts…right now, I want you to answer me back; I want to talk  to someone other than you, other than myself about my deepest feelings.

The weather today was gloomy and so with my mood. There were moments I was feeling jolly, but still slight depression outsmarted me. I don’t know.

I was offended but I couldn’t defend myself. My heart still on the rocks, or maybe just my ego, I’m uncertain… have you felt that?.. That sucks!

I’m about to sleep, but i couldn’t… I need to do this,, I don’t wanna carry this desolation in my sleep.

That’s it. I must be fine!

Good night!

its rainy starry night

Ayala, Makati

The Manila Peninsula

The Symphony of lights at Makati Triangle Garden

Why? Maybe because today they gave us our 13^th month pay..

I’m supposed to be on my way home, when my officemates decided to have a walk nearby our workplace…

I wasn’t able to bring my camera with me, so I have my phone instead to take these shots.

 

Errrrr...

Arghhhh! Someone’s really pissed off here… that’s me! I couldn’t contain this. This day is supposed to be a relaxing one, but I wasn’t, I was so irritated.

I wanna tear off my HSBC credit card, its not behaving, or maybe I’m just stupid. I availed one so I could use it for online booking of plane tickets, but something went wrong. I called the customer service twice, I feel dumb doing that especially our conversation (with the customer service representative) was cut when he’s about to answer my query--- I realized late that I have no enough load on my phone. (stupid again)

I feel this day was wasted.

maybe she's stupid

"Dear _______,

I’m sorry if I haven’t made you feel that I was into you. I haven’t said a single thing about how much I liked you, I did keep everything a secret because I was afraid I might hurt you someday for I am someone who can’t fight her love, especially in our case, we are living in different world.

You heard me right, I did it because I don’t want you to suffer and itI doesn’t matter even if it seems that it’s me who is actually hurting right now.

Love,

Ms. Stupid"

Stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but no.

I feel stupid, really. That if I wouldn’t breathe out my disturbing thoughts here then I might miss a good night sleep.

I couldn’t give you the technicalities of what’s really bothering me,  it’s about my work .. I think I’m being a cause of a delay or at least being part of that delay.

and this feeling: its like, you’re in a debate, and you pick the side that you don’t really agree with, but you have to prove you do.. get my point?

I’m dealing with a certain person, she’s defending herself and I actually agree with what she’s saying, but I couldn’t say yes because I was told by a superior not to…. Instead, I could just shut my mouth because I don’t know what to say. I don’t wanna lie either.

Errrr. It disturbs me.

 

TIRED!

yeah, i am... reconciliation again tomorrow after it was postponed for almost three weeks now.. I dont know why feel bit threat, it seems that I'm not prepared..

Anyway, I must not.

Dance practice again! so tiring..

FRUIT THERAPY

I think i'm about to get sick or maybe i am already... this tonsilitis is disturbing me and so with my stiffneck... i'm not sure if its because of our dance practice or what...

i have colds too.

anyway.. i think fruit therapy will help... so I got grapes, pears, citrus and green apples here.. am I having  the right fruits?.. whatever... i love them anyway.

my Philconstruct visit

Photos from Maay May during our visit to the PHILCONTRUCT 2011 held at SMX-MOA yesterday....

Our booth, DATEM's projects (above)