ON PAY DAY!

I’m such a crybaby ever since I was born; I just pretended I’m not.  I’m so sensitive I easily got myself hurt, but I don’t want people notice it. There have been so many times I choke and feel a clog in my throat because I wanted to cry but I just couldn’t! Have you felt that? When you’re about to say something, like you want to defend yourself, or you want to confess, but you just can’t utter a word lest you’ll burst in tears.

Anyway, this week has been a bit tough for me, so much of random thoughts and emotions. Today, I couldn’t believe that someone is making me feel as if I’m not doing my part in a certain task. Darn that!.. I’m not so used to such accusation. I maybe delinquent sometimes but never I’ve been irresponsible with my duty.

 My boss in my first job was the one I would never forget who made me feel dumb, but I never regret those days, he made me at least a bit well-founded. and Indeed I need to experience stuff like that.

O ruthless people, they are everywhere. Hope you could leave the place where a witch or a bigheaded lion is always watching your moves, correction: you’re wrong ways—that could be so sweet to their eyes. But i realized that running away from those kind of people wouldn't help, you might meet same or worst…. Of course you will, coz as I’ve said they are everywhere, better find ways how to deal with them and not to get affected with their daunting presence. And yeah, look who’s speaking, I could also be a witch to someone’s life… am I? I doubt it , I’m such an angel here.. hahaha

So I’m writing this down so I’ll be able to free my disturbed mood caused by someone who does not even deserve to make me feel down. "You great person, believe what you wanna believe, I don’t care, I don’t have to prove myself to you, you’re not that good either, or maybe you are (clap clap- Ikaw na)!"

" And hey I’m not the only one who disliked the way you treat people. Don’t act to be so perfect, coz you’re not… watch your own move! "

A DAY WITH PEDRING

I'm supposed to post this last night but unfortunately my internet connection didn't behave well, Pedring might be responsible as well.. 

9/27/2011

The weather forecast yesterday said that tropical storm Pedrinng would cause strong wind and heavy rain but no sign of it last night until I woke up this morning. I could hear the whistling gale , it’s scary, the glass window in my place seemed to break, the sound of the galvanized roof from nearby was also alarming. I thought of not going to work or at least be late.

Give me I clap I left the boarding house at 6:40am, the storm could fly me away,  but I had a good grip. So bad, I reached the office really wet, good thing I had brought with me an extra shoes. While working, the sound of the pouring rain and the rage of Pedring disturbed us.

Tropical storms bring destruction, the only thing I know that’s not is the class suspension, and just like students, I felt great when the management declared work half day..

So I went home, dropped by at Landmark for groceries. On my way, I craved for an arrozaldo at Robinson so I decided to go straight there, but the driver stopped at LRT Taft, according to him the road going to Robinson Malate is not passable. Frustrated, I took another jeepney with route home.

Another unfortunate thing, brownout! But I had a good sleep….

Anyway pictures from cp here.

the 10 minute blog

9: 41

this pressures me, but time starts now.. anything goes..

i have really nothing to blog about but I miss doing it.. you know posting here my light nonsense thoughts down to my heart breaking stories.. hehe..

anyway, i got confused again.. its about my future plans (yah, my plans na ako! haha).. im decided of _________ and now i'm uncertain! damn! haha

I'm o sleepy right now, but its as if I'm oblige to do this.

I miss college days.. the school campus itself, i saw  pictures of  someone there and reminded me of many things, the morning walk, the nice view, the grand stand.... my heart breaks! haha

5 minutes left..

I've been repeating three lifehouse' songs since i opened this laptop... "You and Me", "you belong to me" and "i want you to know".... why??? i just want to!

there are things i want to confess to someone, but i just couldn't, songs might help... but i think that person is dumb! haha

time is up!!!

9:51pm

I'M happy!

... because finally i learned how to play the bowling! yahooo... i almost gave up... but i didn't.. im proud of myself! hahaha

good night!

IS TOMORROW A HUMILIATION DAY AGAIN???

the weekly staff meeting tomorow is kinda fussing me, surely our PM will boil his nerve when he'll hear the status of reconciliation, we're not moving on!! wahhh..

In our recon today, DLS brought no quantities with her, she said, she was not able to bring the right documents! dah?! did she think I'll buy that alibi?! i wasn't born yesterday... I knew, she has nothing to show

but i feel disapointed with myself too for I didn't even bother to make her feel that it wasn't all right at all.  was it because she's being nice to me? errr.. that could be her way to outwit me... but in some point i understand her too, (her explanations) ..... or i'm just being an angel here.. or I'm just being imprudent.. sometimes being good is being stupid..

another thing, tomorrow is bowling night again! oh no! that wouldn't be a practice game anymore....... wahhhhhhhh..... can i do it this  time? huhuhu... or will i look idiot again?! haha

Goodluck to me!

WHAT A SHAME

ang kapal ng mukha ko to post this in facebook

"shamcey supsup's victory parade happened to pass by in our project site there in ayala this afternoon.... magkasingganda lang naman pala kami e!!! wahahahahaha... wala ng kokontra, joke lang naman.... haha"

i hesitated before doing this, it was supposed to be joke lang naman talaga..  blame facebook, i thought i customized my account, i hid it from my officemate, so they wont tease me... damn! bakit nagkaganon? nabasa pa rin nila! shame! shame! shame!!!

 

requesting for time extension

its about 10pm, and that means , i should be sleeping.. but i kinda miss writing down here my sunday moves (hehe).

I was actually reading different people's blog right now, i just love doing it coz i love same as well.

i woke up past 8am, asked my brother to bought me Jollibee's ground beef breakfast meal.. checked the internet, chat with my sister. went back to sleep.

woke up 3pm..had a weird dream.

 treat myself with Pizza at Sbarro Robinson-manila. stroll. had some arrozcaldo. then went home at 6pm. i planned to cook for dinner though i'm already stuffed.. i need to gain weight. but when i opened my laptop (until this moment) i forgot to cook, i was carried away music tripping, got online with my FB and multiply account..

but since i have work tomorrow, need to sleep now!

Good night everyone!

OH MY GULAY

just this very day, I weigh 51 kgs! wahhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

i need to gain weight.

Whats in my wallet?

so what made me post this?

because i find it hard to junk these pay slips (na finally itatapon ko na pagtapos neto) from my first job, i think those are more intact than my payslips in my present job.. i've been saying this many times, i value small things ( though i keep them cluttered sometimes)..

so here's what presently on my wallet:

receipts and sabi ko nga payslips (way back 2008)... got to throw them away now, i have their picture anyway.. hehe

ATM cards (BDO, Allied bank, Landbank(expired), RCBC (expired)
ID's (SSS, PRC ID, Voters ID, College ID, Alumni ID,Davao PESO card, 4thyr highscool ID (yah have it still) Nokia 7610 Card, SUPERAMA Super savers card, Home Depot Loyalty Card (oo, yung iba wala namang kwenta!)

my 1 x 1 ID picture, my mom's picture, and a small amount of cash.

That's all folks!

I was looking so unpretty today

hep! don't raise you eyebrow while saying 'when was the time you looked pretty huh??' hahaha...

if i am beautiful, then im not today... but if am an ugly duckling, then i am uglier today! hahaha

we had our site visit today.. some pictures here.

(Photos taken at the 10th floor of our  project (discovery primea).
Those views you'll see when your up there.
I wish i could also have photos like these when we get to the 67th floor.
but unfortunately i might leave the company before we get there.)

I want to upload more but i looked horrible on those pictures. yah, i was looking so thin, so haggard, so stressed, so worn out, so muddled, so lifeless, so ugly!!! hahahaha could it be because of my dress?

my bragging pimples? my stupid hair?

or because i think a lot,  things like my humiliation during the bowling which my officemates still teasing me even reenacted my ways,

or i am just undeniably fatigued, i'm a bit busy too at work nowadays.

or because i  lack sleep , i went home last night almost 2am, we had our despida for jeny.. actually, i'm so sleepy right now.

or could be because i am literally unpretty! haha

and what worst is, most of the shots are not wacky, but i  appeared as if i am having a silly and funny shots, those were not stolen, but i looked like unprepared in most of it.. hahahaha..

oh my, fate is being cruel to me nowadays..

The bowling game made me feel so stupid

i just got home from our bowling game..we are going to compete with the other project site.

we had our try outs a while ago, my first to play too... wahhhh... i couldn't believe my self.. in my ten "frames", that consist of two chances to knock down the pins, so that's 20  times (im sorry i'm not really aware of the mechanics)....... and i went through the canal at 17 times if i remember it well!....... aint that stupid!?

Shame! my team would probably would lose it if i wont improve... i feel so slow and a bit guilty, my team, even my project manager too, told me or instructed me to "do that", "not like this", "relax", "hold it this way", "take your time",... and blah blah... but still, i couldn't make it right! im really a slow learner here..most of us were also first timers, but they're doing fine!  it hurts me, oh my! i feel like, 'hey im not really good at anything!!" hahaha...

the tournament will officially start next week, that's every thursday.... till november...

actually, im so sleepy and tired now.. but it seems that i couldn't sleep peacefully if i wouldn't pour down the thought of being a burden with my team here... hahaha...

I want to quit, but i was chosen to play i have no choice.... and i dont wanna be a loser too...

Good night!

and what did i do to my hair?????!!!

Good luck Jeny X Jeny

jeny’s leaving the  office, yeah just like Arleen, she’s resigning too. That actually lessens the reason why my present company is worth staying. I have no problem with the other people there, though I’m not really comfortable with all of them as well, but I can still handle it… it’s just that I’m so used to Jeny’s presence, I would be sad without her, she’s a good buddy.

Did I just say me not being comfortable with anyone? It’s a fact about me, that there are very few people I feel at ease with. People whom I’m being true to myself, I’m being jolly, loud, corny, I can be what I wanna be, I can share what’s really inside me. And I can be that way with people like Jeny. But don’t mistaken me of being fake to others, I was just saying that I am not comfortable enough to show off. I think I’m weird, and there are hardly any who will understand me.. hehe

I’m being dramatic, I’m pulling away myself from my main topic, sorry jen. Haha. Unlike Arleen, it didn’t take so long before I realize that she’s someone I know I can make friends with. She’s not intimidating. She’s true, she hated being plastic. She’s fun to be with.

What else would I remember of her? Umm, she’s always late! Haha, she’s a bit sensitive, but she can be impulsive too, sometimes she would surprise you by cracking a joke you wouldn’t imagine she would.

Okay, that’s it. I’m talking a lot, I might bore her if I let her read this. She once told me that she wanted to read my blogs, but not those lengthy..  so she’s a lazy head too sometimes.. hehe

Jeny, I’m gonna miss you. I understand your reason for leaving. I hope you’ll find what you’re looking for. I wish you’ll be able to catch a good job, I know you will, just minimize being late ha! Hehe

Good luck to your journey future architect!.. tnx for the friendship! Keep in touch!

'jeny and I' photos

its been a year na pala since i posted this on my FB account

wala lang.. nakita ko lang nag-appear sa fb..

this is not a love story

You liked her, but she didn’t at first

You we’re persistent, you followed her

She said no, but you didn’t give up

One day, she surrendered, you won

she got into you, that was your fault

She guarded her heart, so she did not tell you

She was confused, she was afraid,

She learned to hide what she felt for you

Everything was fine, though no words to bind you

Nor promises to hold on to

You we’re okay—that I assumed

And she was happy too with you beside her

So you didn’t know, you didn’t care

Or maybe you didn’t really love her

She's about to confess, glad she didn't

Someone new came, so you forgot her

You’re now determined to the other one

And she’s hurting but you got no idea

She could only pretend she was doing great without you

She got no right to oppose, but she will be fine

What was your intention then?

Or who was to blame now?

Could it be you? Who maybe just was playing around?

Or she, who never tried to fight?

It could have been a good story

But before it formally started, it ended……

 

(i was just browsing the net when i saw the picture above, yah I'm not the one who did it.. i found it cute though heart breaking of course.... then I made a story/poem/whatever you call it .......)

?????

 

The stars remind me of you

I can only see you but never feel you

Your presence calms my wholeness

But you disturb the silence of my heart

And if only in my world you exist

I will wait for you, even if takes ocean to dry

I agree that those who believe in great love are fool

But I’m willing to be one, if it goes for you

I thought you’ll be out of my mind by now

But I was wrong, I’m still not recovering myself from falling for you

I saw someone today that jogs my memory of your ways

It made me miss you

It made me smile

But its breaking my heart

You’re my illusion, you can never be real

I maybe crazy, but I am wishing

That someday, someone like you will find my way.

 

BACK TO BAD DAYS

I was a bit disappointed on how I found myself arriving at the NAIA this afternoon, I was frowning, as if i'll be jailed!

Could it be because I couldn't get enough of my vacation or I just hate the idea of coming back to Manila? I could even cry when I reached my room, aside from its not comfy at all, it doesn't really look like a room to me... it so messy and the renovation on the nearby rooms are not yet done... that contributes to the disgusting ambiance that welcomed me.

Room issues and rentals too wracked my nerve.. i'm just so pissed off to detail it here.

Whirlwind of thoughts are confusing me.. wahahaha.. that's not new!

I'm asking for a sign if I should go or I should stay a bit longer..... to where? secret for now.. hehehe

9:10 pm 9/5/11

O my! the sign I asked for is telling me not to go!!! wahhhhhhhhhhhh....

FLIGHT BACK TO MANILA LATER

I hope the weather would cooperate today, PAL always make me edgy up there compare to that of Cebu Pacific.

anyway, I'm running out of time, I haven't pack  my things yet. I just hate moments like this!

GOOD DAYS ARE OVER?

its my last night here at home... (ofcourse i'll be coming back Inshaallah), tomorrow will be my flight back to Manila. As always, my heart breaks! when will i get use to it? I think i'll never be..  its been ten years now since I started leaving home.. during college days where I used to reside in a dormitory and went home every semestral break, my first job too was 4-6hour drive away from home... and during those days leaving home disheartened me... who wanted to be away from their family anyway?

1 week is just not enough. 3 days of that I spent in Davao.. i wasn't able to visit my friends. Bad!

so what's so special for this week? --- the great time we had in our family getaway to Samal Island, my first zip line experience, the Durian, the crabs, Davao City itself--it reminded me of my first job, the exhilarating view of the grandest mosque (Masjid) in the Philippines and of course seeing my family and relatives.

I feel really bad now, i hate leaving  home. I'm sorry but I'm not even excited to see Manila again.. I don't know why I need to get back there.. hahahaha... yah, its my job! and  its not good to feel terrible about it.

See you Manila.. See you my job... see you xxxxxxx.....

Safe flight to me.

THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SCENERY IN COTABATO CITY I'VE EVER BEEN TO

MY FIRST ZIP LINE EXPERIENCE

I thought i couldn't do it. I'm not really afraid of heights, but when I was standing at the peak of the starting point of the zip, I wanted to step back, I almost utter the words, "no, I can't do it', but I didn't tolerate it, I cant let that weakness get the better off me, so I did.. wahhhh!!!

That was incredible! when you're on it, you could actually say "no sweat".Overpowering your fear is a big thing! Now, I'm ready to take my breath away and challenge myself for the longest zip line here in Philippines.. haha

Zip line at Blue Jaz Beach resort, Island Garden of Samal

That's my sister, view from end point

my cousin

View under the zip line

Pic taken at the starting point

FAMILY OUTING AT BLUE JAZ, SAMAL ISLAND

Last Sunday, my brother and I went home so we could celebrate the Ed'l Fitr here together with the complete cast of our family.

tuesday, 30th of August, After Sambayang, we packed our things and we're all set for Samal Island, Davao.

My mom, my sister, my brothers, aunts and cousins ready for about 4-5hour drive to Davao.

First stop over. lunch at Tabing Dagat, Davao del Sur

Photo at the Ferry boat crossing Samal Island

Blue Jaz Beach Resort

So, how was the resort? That was wonderful, but the services are a bit disappointing, we we're not able to enjoy most of their facilities. The resort itself was so commercialized, you know I'd prefer something natural. Maybe if we tried further, say at Talikud Island, or somewhere far away from the city, then it would be more fantastic. I don't really like the view of the City from our resort, it seems that you're not having a getaway, it seems that you're just an inch from the grimy city, that you're only swimming at the port. Do you get my point? I actually imagined a wide shoreline, something that's bit rural. hehe.. anyway we had a great time! I had my first zip line experience.