1st minute of july

i was smiling and I'm not really certain why...

Could it be because of Kenjin? yah, I'm having a samurai X marathon here...

Or because finally I've heard my soulmate's voice today when we crossed path again.. hehhe.. he was talking to someone..

or because of EXJR--- oops, I'm not suppose to comment about that person anymore, yah I'm not, that's why i'll be sleeping now..

 Good night! hehe

10 things I would want to say to ten different people right now

1.       You really got that instinct, you’re the best!

2.       You’re such a friend… I count on you, thank you so much!

3.       I’m not really mad at you, I’m just disappointed, I’m confused.. Why you’ve changed? Or you’re just showing your true colors? I miss the old you somehow.

4.       Nakakatampo ka naman, actually matagal na akong nagtatampo sayo.. I’ve swallowed my pride today coz we are supposed to be friends right? You’re actually one of the best.  If you wouldn’t reply on what I’ve ask you a while ago, then maybe I should quit… that would be the last favor I would ask of you.

5.       I’m sorry I’m being mean to you.. its not really what I want to do though you’re annoying naman kasi talaga minsan!.. and maybe they’re right, you can’t be trusted, I don’t know why I’m trusting you.. but I know  how to handle this.

6.       I’m sorry I couldn’t stand your side, I can see your point, but I couldn’t fight it for you..

7.       Hey, I have so much to tell you, but I can’t.. I like you but I hate you too. Someday before we part ways, I might tell you how you brighten up my days and how'd you broke my heart too.

8.       Kaya mo yan! Be independent, don’t rely on anyone…

9.       Nakakairita ka! You’re O.A-ness flooded in my wall.. go on anyway, if that what makes you happy, hindi lang naman siguro ako ang may karapatang maging O.A.. hehe

10.   Hi!

 

6/23/2012

what?
i don't know, i feel like blogging, but i can't start it right,, not even the title nor the topic...
i want to say something but it wouldn't come out, i just  felt it.
its late and i should be sleeping but instead i'm here with my nonsense.
do i sound like a fool in here... how could I ask the obvious? hehe
i'm sorry dear self if i'm humiliating you, i could have keep it private but i chose not to
i want the world know that my existence is existing
that someone like me is not impossible.. haha
whoah! and as if the world cares!! somehow..
what am i saying? this is absolutely so random, so "anything goes"
what now?
whats in my mind? what's in there? what are you doing? im thinking of you..
hahaha... who could that be? damn, dont ask! just let me say so...
i'm sorry...
why am saying sorry? hahaha... i must be crazy! hahaha.. whatever...
signing off!

Good night!

HAPPY ^__^

see? i'm not really that morbid... i'm being happy too sometimes.. though I'm a bit disgusted earlier this day..... but I'm happy right now.. I can smile alone (yah, like crazy!.. haha)..

I'm exhausted, I'm sooo drop dead tired but I'm fine...

Good night!

GOOD NIGHT! ;)

I WISH THE STARS WOULD FALL FOR ME TONIGHT TO GRANT THE WISHES I AM WISHING....

I WISH SOMEONE WOULD REALIZE AND FEEL WHAT I TRULY WANNA SAY COZ I JUST COULDN'T VOICE IT OUT.

I WISH RIGHT NOW IS NOT YET 10:43PM COZ I DON'T WANNA SLEEP YET...

I WISH I WOULD SEE YOU IN MY DREAM

I WISH I COULD BE FORGIVEN FOR THE MEAN THING I JUST DID TODAY. I'M SORRY.

I WISH  SOMEDAY I COULD BE THERE..

I WISH TOMMOROW WOULD BE A WONDERFUL DAY....

I WISH THIS WOULD GOING TO BE A GOODNIGHT FOR YOU AND ME..

WEBCAM TRIPPING

Narcissist? maybe.. haha.. but i actually don't find myself beautiful. swear, sometimes I feel so unpretty! i know its wrong to feel that way, we should accept what God gave us... that I should be thankful for having no impairment.. (wala nga ba? hehe)..

anyway, TAKE A LOT OF PICTURES! that's why I am.. obviously... hehe.. these were just webcam pictures---  (no make ups, just woke up, just arrived home after work or somewhere else).. I have lots of them if you may wanna know.. heheh

WANTED!

Laugh at me, I’m acting like I’m a decade younger than my real age. Haha… am I highschool again? Haha when the anti stalking law be approved, I might find myself in jail.. hahaha..

I started calling this person my soul mate when we make salubong almost everyday at the same spot, at the same time…I’m on my way to our project site, and my Mr. Soulmate to his project site too, I think he’s an architect….  but suddenly something changed, I don’t know, maybe he changed path or schedule, hindi na kami nagsasalubong, baka natakot sa akin, I was obvious, I knew it.. haha..

he works there and I work at the place where this photo was taken

I haven’t seeing him for months, I thought he resigned or something, but then I saw him again. Madalas ko na ulet syang nakikita, but this time after work na… past 6pm mon-fri, and past 4pm on Saturday… wahahhaha

Hahahaha… do I sound like a real stalker here?? Whatever! D’on’t get me wrong, but I’M NOT DESPERATE TO KNOW HIM. I DON’T WANNA KNOW HIM ACTUALLY. I’m just putting meaning to coincidental things, masalubong mo lang araw araw sa isang lugar, sa parehong oras, soulmate na! haha

this is just a post for nothing!

THE PROPOSAL

I just hate love stories! Its so disheartening it reminds me how my love life screwed! Haha… ew that!

Skip mine, let’s get back to the movie. When I was at my first job way back 2008, I’ve been seeing the poster of this movie on the cinemas, but I didn’t mind it, now I could conclude I had missed it, but never mind, I’ve watched it already last night.

Anyway, nice one Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds, I love your movie so much! I love the scenery too.

6/15/2012: in random thoughts

I’m about to sleep but I can’t, I’m confused! Ahhhhh... I’m taking a risk, I’m about to let go an opportunity… Oh, God, help me… I hope I’m doing the right thing, “laging nasa huli ang pagsisisi", but why it seems that I am already regretting?.... sometimes, I thought I play safe, but I end up losing it, I hope not this time.

Its 10:14pm, I’m still wearing my company uniform. I’m hungry, I was stuffed a while ago so I didn’t eat rice for dinner, and I’m on the state of idleness to prepare for something to eat.

I was thinking of old friends, were they really been my friends? Errrr… I wanna be independent, I don’t wanna rely on anyone.. what’s wrong with me? At some point, I feel like I’m being betrayed.. haha, I’m sorry if I feel bitter sometimes.. but still, thanks to my few good friends..

I’m stupid, I know. How can I be soooo stupid? Hahaha.. I hate this!.. you, yes you, can you just get out of my head???

Am I waiting for a ship in an airport? Hahaha…

What am I gonna do now?... sleep maybe.

               

INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Asking me how did I celebrate my freedom today?  Well, nothing so bizarre, same as my old boring days, but you know how good I am in handling dull days…. So if ever you wish to get jaded then stick with me! Haha.. just kidding.

What’s so good about this day is I didn’t spend so much money, I didn’t go anywhere.. I went out only to send my dirty clothes to the laundry shop.

I watched different genre of movies. I food tripped, and I’m glad that my appetite is back, could it be because I stopped taking the food supplements for quite a while now, or because I am no longer inlove nor broken hearted? Hmmmm, I think I’m still but forget about that corniness Whahahaha…

I’ve watched some parts of the sci-fi series GRIMM. Well, that was fine.

I’ve enjoyed the dance musical film HONEY2, im not really a fan of such movies, you know that dancing thing--- but this is another exception, it was great.

I’ve roll back the Thai move CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE… again??? Yes, childish I maybe, but I loved it so much….

And just a while ago, I had an horror film, THE TRAVELLER, it almost got rotten on my laptop but since I had run out of movies, I got no choice but to watch it, I’ve finish it though that one is really gross and sickening.

It was a long day for me but I don’t wanna go back to work yet… (sigh) but I have to…

Good night now!

PS: Happy Bday to my eldest bro!

Happy Independence Day Philippines!

 

THE LAST LETTER

This is going to be my last letter to you EXJR… I think I have done so many lasts but I hope this one is for real. This afternoon I asked for a sign if I should stop doing this, and the answer was YES!.. I know it would be hard, it could also mean I should stop writing… I just love writing when my heart is breaking.

 

Dear EXJR,

You’re forgiven, but I shouldn’t forget how much you caused me pain, not for now, maybe someday, coz that’s my only defense to stop  this foolishness… yah, I’ve been so stupid believing that you liked me too. It’s not your fault anyway—that I’m still convincing myself.

Honestly, I’m still into to you, I hate to admit it but I must stop it. Running away from you is the right thing to do, though that’s not what makes me happy. I’m pushing you away but that’s not really what's inside my heart. I want you to be happy even with someone else, but that’s not what I really feel.

 This hurts, but I have to say goodbye now… I wish happiness for the both of us.

GOODBYE EXJR!

6/10/2012

So what’s for today?? Aside from Pacquiao losing it, no comment to that, I’m glad that I’ve accomplished my checklist for today.

And I’ve eaten so much food too, I cooked for breakfast, chicken liver, and I made spaghetti too…

Part of my checklist is to visit ate Vicky at Manila Doctors Hospital, before heading there, I dropped by at Robinson Mall to buy her Egg Pie at Goldilocks, I craved for a Frappucino too, so I got Starbuck’s Choco Chip Frap, then I took out One piece chicken at Bon Chon so I could have something to eat at Ate Vickie’s room. She offered me Picnik and grapes too… I told you, I have been food tripping today… and I feel great about that, I’m having a good appetite!

This is how looked like this morning before doing anything.

And myself just I arrived home… don’t mind my pimples and my oily face. hehe

What do you do when you don't know what to do?

Just a line from the movie I’ve watched a while ago.. “This means war”, that’s a good one, I forgot that I was upset .. Thanks to Lee  ( my officemate), he recommended it to me, he actually almost forced me to watch it the other day in the office after work, but I said I will just copy it.. hehe.. I heard myself laugh countless for this.. It’s a movie about love and friendship..

Anyway…. What to do when you don’t know what to do??? Arrr, I just did something I think I mustn’t... haha, but I did already.. that’s just an interruption…. And what I just did I guess isn’t an answer…. I shouldn’t have done that! Wahhhhh.. haha

Seriously, what do you do when you don’t know what to do????? I hope somebody could answer me

My friend Jegs

This is my Friend since my childhood days, I call her Jegs. We’re neighbors, we went to same school in our elementary days, she was my best friend then. We had petty fights I could smile everytime I remember, we used to go home together after class, but one day we quarreled, I don’t even remember the reason why, she took the other side of the road and me on the other while walking home.. when I reached the gate of our house, she looked at me, we smiled at each and friends again.. haha..

I’m a bit shy as ever that I asked my younger sister or my brother to send my messages to her if have to ask or say something, I wrote them in a letter and she will reply too (dipa uso ang cellphone at internet non).. haha.. I could go along with my siblings but I’m so shy then, as if those people along the way would bite me, so I preferred those letters.

But in our secondary years, we enrolled to different school, swear that disheartened me!

We’re together again in college, dorm mates and room mates as well. But she graduated first, she took 4-year course and I’m in engineering.

She found new friends and so do I, but ofcourse our friendship didn't end there. Meeting new people doens't mean forgetting the old ones... especially those people-for-keeps.

Years after, we became room mates again in a place far away from our hometown, this time, because of our jobs, she worked in a call center industry and yours truly in a construction company. But after several months, she went home and proceed her study in a lawschool.

We had our picture tripping here yesterday and this morning before her flight back home. She had her 2 months internship here in Manila.

w/ our friendship bags as we call it

That’s it..

TOXIC!

This previous week and this coming week I declare the busiest of all. I have so much work to do, maloloka na ako! Ahaha.. what’s disappointing is I couldn’t do it well due to limited time. I couldn’t balance the petty cash replenishment, because I wasn’t able to monitor it cautiously since I’m doing something else, I was having quantity reconciliation with our project owner’s quantity surveyor. And I need to update my quantities right after the recon according to the reconciled one, as well as the keyplans. The SUT’s are piling up.. The other items to be estimated, I haven’t done it yet, I’m afraid I forgot some. I hope I haven’t missed  to log and record the necessary documents.

I was even given another item to estimate, an urgent matter. But how in the world will I be able to do that when I actually have on queue schedules for another reconciliation, I haven’t even reviewed those items, damn, I don’t wanna look stupid by not knowing the things I have done.. My superiors committed that we must finish the items for reconciliation even if it take overtime (without asking me kung kaya ko!)… ofcorse kaya ko naman, but how bout my usual task?.. I swear I’m speeding up and extending time as well…even if my mind is actually not working well due to exhaustion … I love being busy but this I guess its too much it would kill me… haha

I’m not complaining, I don’t wanna complain! Should I?